Law of Inverse Grading Enjoyment

When I was a kid, I used to beg my mom to allow me to do her Theory 101 grading. She absolutely hated the grading process, so it didn't take much coaxing to get her to hand over the red pen.*

I'd scan back and forth between answer key and test and put huge red X's over every wrong interval and chord progression.

It was awesome.

Maybe it was awesome because I was an old lady in a 9 year old's body. Or maybe I just wanted the authority of that red pen (once I used a red crayon, but that didn't go over so well with her students). Or, perhaps it was just the fact that I didn't actually have to be grading. I was 'Playing Teacher' with some real-life props, and I was good at it. Fast, efficient, and accurate -- you couldn't really ask for anything more (except, of course, handwriting that was a little more professor-appropriate**).

In any case, now that I actually need to grade papers on a weekly basis, now that I'm the one with students asking about their grade on the essay handed in on Monday...

("Why does it show up as a zero? I can bring proof that I submitted it!" "Relax. I just haven't graded it yet. Grades will be up by the weekend, I promise.")

...now that I'm the one with the responsibility, I procrastinate with the best of them.

And, even though I sure as hell wouldn't have wanted a newborn at age 20, I can't help but wish I had a precocious (and slightly obnoxious) 9 year old.


*In defense of my mom, she only let me have my way with papers that had clear right/wrong answers, and she always double checked my work.

**In defense of my elementary school handwriting, it's still just as bad, and students still can't read it. What can I say? I could blame it on being left-handed, but I just think it's that I'm too impatient to write slowly enough for complete legibility. I peaked early.