You know? I'm actually not fishing for compliments.
I just find it fascinating how numbers obsessed we all are...
I mean, I know I'm not skinny, but I also know I'm strong and fit and healthy and yes, that I look... good. Maybe not perfect, maybe not amazing, but why does that matter?
It shouldn't matter that I'm a size 6 and not a size 2 and that my boyfriend probably weighs less than me; I shouldn't care.
But somehow, I do.
The pathetic thing is that when I was actually 15-20 pounds lighter, I still wasn't happy - I still thought I needed 'work'.
So, it's not about reality; it's about some weird self-perception, and some need to always work towards the unachievable.
And it's not only about weight. It's about running and triathlon; it's about the flute; it's about doing certain things before a certain age; god, it's about anything and everything I do.
I do believe that if we don't strive to be the best, then there isn't much of a point - you should always want to improve... but at a certain point, you need to be able to step back and appreciate what you have actually accomplished... along with accepting that what you've done may just be your best, even if it's not the best.
And you know? Doing your absolute best, no matter what the outcome? That's pretty kick-ass.
So, I guess the solution is being happy with the process, and jeez that's so damn difficult. Results are easy to compare; maybe that's why races are so satisfying.
The way to the race, on the other hand - the training, the nutrition, and the overall perseverance? None of that is not really all that quantifiable.
But maybe that's good. Maybe we [and by 'we', I mean 'I'] need to keep all the results and numbers in perspective - and more importantly, just enjoy who we are, pear-shaped ass and all.
10 comments:
So true. I try not to weigh myself if I'm feeling good, because if it's not a number I like, I'll completely re-assess what I see in the mirror. And running? Well, I spent the first half of my last half-m thinking "holy crap, I'm awesome. I feel amazing." Then I did the math, realised I was not really rocking it that hard, and ended up disappointed.
PS- you do look good. Just as good as you looked 15-20 lb ago.
Dude. Word.
Whitney
Babe: Been training since I was 14 or so. Didn't get un-obsessed by the numbers until fairly recently, about 35 years after I began training. Maturity and happiness are both very difficult to grow into. Or let-go into. I think I just remembered to have fun.
Good is inadequate. But if I used my powers of description, it would only make you blush and probably get me in trouble.
ahhh, curves - we who have 'em fight 'em everyday - and the fight gets even harder at my age - but we are strong and this is the body that lets me do all the things I love to do - swim.bike.run - so for that I am thankful!
I can honestly say that this is the first time in life I am completely comfortable in my skin. It feels good! If this is the best that it gets I can live with it :)
You look great, rock your girly bod!
It is (almost) winter. Standards change with the seasons and it is acceptable to be a little more pear shaped than usual.
It is an official rule. I looked it up. Trust me.
Horray for happy body images! (although I still manically check my weight at least every other day.)
Don't forget that your body weight fluctuates every day - doesn't really mean you put on 5lbs of fat. And curves are wonderful - just wonderful. Curves are sexy and healthy.
I love the comments for this post. Love to you all.
Lookin' good, as usual! :)
Post a Comment