The Good Stuff from Thanksgiving

Considering my last post was a little morose, and I don't particularly like to be a Debbie-downer, I just wanted to say that my Thanksgiving really was pretty great.

I got to see my cousins - boys who are growing up so fast, yet still manage to be as sweet as when they were in elementary school.

I spent time with lots of aunts and uncles that I don't see nearly enough - it's silly I don't get down there more often, considering how close Philly is...

I went for several awesome runs - two here in New Brunswick with the best running club ever, and one Turkey Trot race in Philly.  It was my first running race since last December (I think), and it felt great to be out there, even if I was slowslowSLOW.  It reminded me that I love to run and I love to race and I have reaffirmed that I'm going start making both running and racing a part of my daily life once again.

I made my own apple pie with a crust-turkey on top (picture 2 posts below).  It's been a tradition for my dad to make it every year, and I was bummed that since I didn't go home (holiday travel is just too much of a mess), I wasn't going to be part of it this year.  So, despite my lack of artistic talent or ability, I endeavored to make my own turkey.  And amazingly, it turned out well!  I was pretty proud; it almost felt like I had reached the summit of a mountain - almost.  But the best part?  I introduced the tradition to my cousins, so hopefully they'll maintain it in the years to come, even if I'm not there.

My uncle taught my how to make my Grandfather's famous potlajella eggplant dip - a very important rite of passage.

I drove down to DC to surprise Zach on Thanksgiving evening.  Seeing him (even if for only 12 hours) was of course awesome, and I got to meet tons of his family.

I hung out with dogs - both at Zach's house and at my uncle's place.  I love dogs - the look in their eyes makes me melt.

I practiced a lot yesterday and was actually relatively happy with how I sound; it's fun to play when things are working well.

And though that's not everything that made me smile (How about the fact that I survived driving way-too-fast on the way down to Zach's?  Or, that my kitten was doing well when I retuned and has now forgiven me for leaving her alone during Thanksgiving?), it's enough to show that I am, in fact, doing well.  And more importantly, I know what my favorite holiday is all about - I'm thankful for everything in my life - even the bouts of loneliness, because you know what?  Without the occasional feeling of melancholy solitude, I wouldn't know to enjoy my friends and family as much - and I don't ever want to take them for granted.  

So, I hope your Thanksgiving was just as wonderful, and that the next year brings so much more that makes you thankful.

Now, my cereal is done, but I'm still tired and I have the morning off.  So, I don't care that I need to do a million and five loads of laundry.  I'm going back to sleep with a full belly and a kitten curled up next to me and I don't feel guilty.

Long Weekends Get Long

It's been good to have some time off, and it was great to see my relatives during the week.  

But I gotta say... now having this weekend to myself, with not enough to scheduled to do (but, oh - plenty I should be doing), the whole vacation thing just doesn't seem as awesome as it's cracked up to be.

Just like most people, I feel better when I'm busy.  And right now, with all these deadlines looming, I seem to be a little bit overwhelmed and therefore immobilized - unable to even unpack my bag, never-mind working on my papers or doing the bills.  

And actually - I guess I'm sort of lonely too.  That probably comes from being with so much family over the past few days, but right now, even though Jazz is sitting on me and purring, the house just seems a little too quiet.

Happy Thanksgiving!

1992

I'm the one wearing pink and white in the middle... it was a good-bye party for a friend who was moving at the end of 5th grade. The house in the background is the house my family lived in until we bought a house when I was in 6th grade. My dad grew the tomatoes and hung the balloons.  My sister apparently liked Sprite.

Damn, it's good.

Guess what?  I just taught a flute lesson, and when that was over at 7:45 PM... it was officially THANKSGIVING BREAK!!  Woo-hoo!!! 

I'm not going anywhere for a couple days; then I'll be on my way down to Philadelphia to celebrate the holiday with my aunts and uncles.  But, I've gotta say - having the next bunch of days just off is awesome.  I'm still going to get work done - hopefully I'll pretty much finish up my lecture recital paper, along with my paper for my LAST CLASS EVER, and I want to run a bunch and practice the flute as much as possible... not to mention visiting family and taking more pictures of little cousins than anybody ever wanted to see - so rest assured... I'll be busy.  But, no more classes or rehearsals until Sunday.  And that rocks.  

So you know what I'm doing right now?  Enjoying my favorite nighttime drink - hot chocolate with Baileys.  Chai with Baileys (coined a 'Nirvana') is actually even better, but it has caffeine, and I've already indulged that vice way too much today.  Getting up at 5 was hard this morning, and I was late for work.  So, Spiked Hot Chocolate it is, and it's really freaking awesome.

I think I might go add more Spike now.

Oh, but before I forget:  You guys are the best ever.  Today my fundraising hit about the 75% mark.  I only need $100 more and I'll be over the top.  By the way, if you want to donate, but don't feel comfortable with online purchases, just email me and I'll send you the snail mail info.

For the love of God.

Ever try to buy airline tickets and feel like your head is about to explode?  Well, I think my brain is currently all over the walls and tables of the North Brunswick Panera.

You want to hear how I figured it out so that I can both go home for a few days during Christmas break and manage to get to and from Florida for Bike and Build?

If not, I don't care.  I just spent multiple hours figuring it out, so I need to get it all straight on paper.  Yup, I'm using you.

Okay, so I'm flying to Orlando on December 21 at night on Jet Blue.  I'll spend the night in the airport and leave to go home the next morning on a Continental frequent flyer fare.  Then, I'll be at home for the week, and fly back to Orlando on the 28th for Bike and Build.  Then, I'll bike. and build.  We finish the tour in Fort Lauderdale on January 03, and I'll have until the morning of January 06 to somehow get back to Orlando (ride my bike back??).  I'll get back to Newark mid-day on the 6th and I can either go back to New Brunswick or take the train up to Albany to visit Zach.

Phew.

The good news is that the whole endeavor shouldn't cost more than $250 in plane tickets, and other than spending a night in the Orlando airport, it's a relatively smooth way of doing it.

The irony is that the Bike and Build leader-man called while I was doing this and wanted to know my travel plans.  I almost lost it then, but instead I smiled and said that I was in the process of figuring it out and he would have an answer by nightfall.

And then he told me I needed to have my money in by December 01, which, to be fair, I knew.

So here's where I beg for money.  It's not a lot that I have to raise... just $450.  So, I know you weren't necessarily planning on giving me a birthday or Hanukkah present, but... if you were, or even if you might, if you could just donate instead, that would be awesome.  If everyone gave $10, I'd be way over the minimum.  And I know raising money is not about doing the minimum, so if I end up with more than necessary, I'd be thrilled.  You just have to go to the Bike and Build website, click on the Donate link, and then select my name.  Of course, it's completely tax deductible.  I promise this'll be the last time for a while that I try to raise money like this.  I completely believe in the cause, and I'm thrilled that I get to bike through Florida and build more for hurricane damaged areas, but I'm also aware that it is, in fact, my choice, and I don't mean to put that on you.  So, after this, I promise... I'll lay off the fundraising for a while... at least until I have a real job and don't feel desperate about it.

And meanwhile, thanks for all of your support (monetary and otherwise) through this and all the fundraisers of years past.

But before I go... 2 pieces of good news.

1) I've written half of my Lecture Recital paper.  And you know what?  It was actually kind of interesting.  The second half will be (by far) more difficult, but I'm ready.  I might end up graduating this year after-all...

2) I sent in my resume for a flute/piccolo position in the President's Own Band.  The position has been open several times over the past few years, but I could never bring myself to apply and end up in a uniform, playing in a band.  But, for obvious reasons, this time it's different.  This time I'm excited at the prospect of playing for a government I believe in, and this time I realize that playing at all would be awesome, and playing with great musicians is nothing to turn up my nose at, uniform or not.  So, the audition is at the end of February.  I'm not getting my hopes up too high, but I do have to say that it would be totally awesome.  And hey - I'd be a Marine!!

Today was the Philadelphia Marathon, and since I've ran it the past 2 years, I kind of wished I was there.  I remembered last year, turning 26 and running 26(.2 to grow on) miles, and it made me a bit nostalgic.  So, now I'm all the more pumped up for the Pittsburgh marathon in May.  3:40:59, here I come... 

Okay, so I'm going to peel myself out of the Panera booth I've been planted in for the past 6+ hours.  I'll go home, play with my kitten, and try to practice a little before bed.  One more day of school and it's Thanksgiving vacation!

A Self Portrait

I am a Cookie Jar.

This tutoring job is turning me into a Cookie Jar. I might not eat the actual Jar, but I might as well. I cannot keep my paws off. There are girl scout cookies (is it really Girlscout cookie season again??), and chocolate chocolate chip cookies and apricot shortbread cookies and god peanut butter chocolate chip and double stuffed oreos. All this, and that isn't even mentioning the coffee and tea and ridiculous variety of hot chocolate mixes. Damn Koerig; damn this job where I amble from room to room and shove sweet things in my mouth inbetween. Ugh. If I manage to finish the semester under 140lbs, it'll be a freaking miracle.

My students this period didn't show (punks!), so I'm going home and getting on my trainer. The plan is to watch Brothers and Sisters on my computer and attempt to bike off the two giant cookies I shoved in my face post-breakfast cereal (not to mention post-PROMISE TO MYSELF THAT I WOULD NOT EAT ANY COOKIES AT WORK TODAY). Okay, so I'll be back in 2+ hours for my next students, and you know what? I can try again. I think I'll put a post-it note on the jar. It'll say 'Eat lots. Sincerely, Your Growing Belly'.

Because You Can

Zach just came to visit for my birthday, and while sitting at a Chinese dinner before he had to leave, we decided to get into a fight.

As in, yelling and cursing at each other at the table, for no real reason.

We kept breaking the spell by laughing, but we were definitely improving by the time we were ready to leave.  I didn't realize it would be so hard to get in a fake fight with someone in public.

But, I've got to admit - it was fun.  

It's just one of those things that people don't do - start yelling at each other in line for Starbucks for no good reason, or throwing things from their purse in the bank.  It's not what you're supposed to do - you're supposed to smile and stand up straight and be polite.  

And that's what I do, 98% of the time.  

But I think 'acting out' on purpose every once in a while is actually a good thing, because if you have control over it, you're less likely to lose your shit otherwise.  Perhaps if people yelled a little more often, there would be less road rage.

So, here's what I'm thinking.  I'm going to post a daily* bad-kid suggestion for a while.  I'll take part, and if any of you do, definitely let me know.  It'll be programatic anarchy, if something of the sort can exit.

So for today, we'll simply go with what started the whole idea - I suggest you yell something inappropriate in while in line or at the grocery store.  Get in a fight with absolutely no purpose - see how it feels.  It's fun.  

I'll do it again too.  I'm about to go to the vet's office to see if little Jazz is over her (and my) ringworm debacle; maybe I'll make a scene there.  

To be clear, I'm not suggesting that you act needlessly rude to unsuspecting people; more, that you just let loose and scream something at a friend (who will understand and forgive you).  Enjoy.

*Daily = as often as I can come up with a new idea, and have time to sit down at the computer.  Considering the semester is almost over and I'm about to have a lot more time on my hands, let's assume my posting frequency will increase to 3-4 times a week.

27 years and counting (cake in class is awesome)

George Crumb

"Language is one-dimensional. In a room with people talking you can't follow four conversations at once, which is not to say there aren't expressive dimensions in language. In music you have many more dimensions, tiers of the voice.  It is incredible that someone invented this multi-dimensional language; it not only moves through time in a linear way, but is involved with texture and the coming together of many layers at many different levels.  It is an incredible thing. Perhaps I am biased when I say that music goes beyond language, but it does."

Epiphany

Just now, I was practicing and semi-worrying about my paper that I have to write in order to graduate.  I've spent the entire weekend reading all the materials I'd gathered over the semester, and I came across dissertations that covered my exact ideas - and since you can't just repeat what someone else said in your own words (you have to come up with your own idea?!?), I didn't know how to create my own angle within the framework of what I had already submitted as my proposal.

And then it came to me while playing scales... I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that I'm pretty excited about it.  It's an interesting aspect of the pieces I had chosen, especially in today's society, and I actually can't wait to start writing.

I really didn't expect to feel this kind of anticipation about writing this paper - afterall, I'm a performer, not a theorist... but now that I'm going about it in a way that makes sense to me, I can see myself pursuing similar ventures in the future... and that's kind of cool.

This might actually turn out to be fun... and perhaps it'll even be a good paper.

"Nobody likes it when there are restrictions on everything."

So says the opening statement of a tuttee's paper from today's tutoring sessions. The paper was about Reading Lolita in Tehran, and the influence that Big Brother can have on our modern societies. I think.

And of course the sentence doesn't make any sense whatsoever (and could quite possibly come out of the mouth of some of our current political leaders), but I still really love it.

Nobody likes it. When there are restrictions on everything.

Because you know what? It's true. Nobody likes restrictions. And for sure, nobody likes it when there are so many restrictions as to encompass 'everything'.

So how do you fix it? How do you go back to the student and ask them to make the sentence work? The answer they'll give you will obviously be "How come it doesn't make sense? It's true." And to that, I have no answer.

These poor kids - they are required to write these torturous 5-page essays on articles that they couldn't care less about, and then we sit there and tell them why the essays are wrong, and even go so far as to give them a 'paragraph formula', guaranteed to help you pass the class.

And so they write within the confines of the formula, trying to fill in the blanks, and then they just want to write an introduction that feels like it's their own... and then the tutor immediately negates it's relevancy.

And so I understand. I understand the frustration, but moreso, I understand where she's coming from with that opening sentence.

Afterall, 'nobody likes it when there are restrictions on everything'.

I don't care that it's not a worm.

My little girl kitten named Jazz (or, Culprit, as we have recently sub-named her), has now infected me with ringworm.  Of course, I feel sorry for her and the fact that I have to douse her with antibiotic medicine twice a day.  And, I'm sorry that the vet is so stupidly expensive and I think they see dollar signs when I walk into the office.  And yeah, I'm definitely sorry that I have this weird circular rash on my neck and I couldn't get a doctor's appointment until Monday afternoon because I have to tutor all day Thursday and Friday.  But most of all?  I'm sorry that it's a fungus, because fungi are not fun.  Having an infestation of actual worms might sound more gross initially, but I can guarantee that the little worms would be easier to get banish.  Fungus is tough to beat, but I'll do it.  As soon as I can get to the doctor, that is...

Oh, and I have the hiccups too - an ailment completely unrelated to ringworm, other than that they're both making me semi-miserable right now.

But, Culprit is sitting on my lap and bouncing on my knee every time I hiccup, while looking at the computer screen and pawing at my hands.  Despite the patches of hairlessness, she's amazingly cute, and I can't possibly hold a little fungus against her...

I never thought I'd see it below $2 again.

I didn't know what it felt like.

First of all, I've always been glad that I'm an American.  Despite any and all of the things our country has done that I disagreed with, I've always felt that this is my home, and I've loved it.  I can't imagine moving to another country for a job, a lover, or even a corrupt political system.

That being said, what I felt last night was something completely new to me.  

Pride.  I was proud of my country for the first time in my adult life; I could see the brightness in people's eyes - tears of happiness, partly, but also the light that knowledge brings - knowledge that good things are possible.

Yes, the word 'hope' has been overused, as has the concept of 'change'.  But, what I can say (without falling back on now stereotypical idioms), is that for the first time I understand what it must have been like in the 60's - there is not a feeling of complaisance or apathy among us, no matter which side you fall, and that is what is going to make this country different. When people care, things change. 

Yes, I'm proud of the person we chose.  I'm proud of the huge strides towards racial equality this country has made in the past 50 years, and I'm proud that we were able to once again stand up for something and someone that we believe in.  But one person cannot make all the difference.  He can lead, he can help, but together we will turn this country into something we all once again feel is our own.  

And I don't think that we are expecting too much.  I think the second you accept such propaganda is the second you no longer see the future for what it is - uncharted territory. No one can argue that the future is completely unknown, and we have the power and ability to make it what we want.

So here we go - on a ride where no one knows the ultimate destination.  We only know that this time we're not staying at home with our heads under our pillows - we're ready to go somewhere new and exciting.  We can be afraid, but we're also brave.  

And proud.  We're proud of who we are and who we're going to be.

I know we've all heard this before, and perhaps that are many among us who are tired of the new 'I have a dream' mantra.  But, it is in fact effective and meaningful to so many.  So (knowing that this is far from the last time it'll be colloquialized), I'll repeat it once again:

We can all now all say 'Yes, we can.'  

Because, 'Yes, we will.'

And, 'Yes.  We did.'

I need to be doing my reading for class that is in 1.5 hours, but I can't stop looking at the election news.

The First Election Results Are in Already

The polls have already closed in Dixville Notch, NH because all 21 eligible voters have cast their ballots. This village of 75 people traditionally opens the polls at midnight on election day and closes them a few minutes later after the last voter has performed his or her civic duty. Barack Obama got 71% of the vote here today. Dixville Notch is not a good bellwether, however; it has voted solidly Republican for decades. The last Democrat to carry the Notch was Hubert Humphrey in 1968. It is probably not a good start for McCain to have early election day news dominated by a story about a solidly Republican rural village voting overwhelmingly for Obama.

from www.electoral-vote.com

Biden's last stop

Go Phillis!!

The scene at the rally.