The week up there will be a good way to decompress, I think. I've had a hard time adjusting to normal-er life. I expected it, but it's still difficult. I've got a week up there and then I'm back in New Jersey on September 1, with school and auditions starting the next day. It's kind of overwhelming to think about, especially when I'm still going through withdrawal from the lifestyle to which I've grown accustomed over the past 2.5 months.
Sometimes I wonder if the extremes are worth it. I had such an amazing time over the summer, but now things that might usually seem normal are so much lower. It would definitely be easier to just sit in a constant state of being instead of dealing with the ups and downs. I don't like missing people or things; I'm not good at it. It makes me feel vulnerable, and I guess that's why I tend to close myself off as a general rule. I didn't put up the walls this summer, and I'm glad for that... but dealing with the fallout is just as difficult as I always fear.
I don't mean to be the typical 'Debbie Downer'. It was a wonderful experience and I'm so lucky to have had the time and resources to participate. It's just hard to come down, I guess...
So that's it for now. I won't have reliable internet access when I'm up in Vermont, but I should be able to check email once once in a while when I go into town. I'll try to write while I'm there as well so that I'll have plenty of blabbering to post.
2 comments:
The "let down" for me is always the worst part.
That's why I'm already worried about Sept 8th (assuming I finish Sept 7th)....I just hope I can maintain focus after this is all done. Coming down from a big focus/event is always hard.
Hope you find ways to deal with it, let me know if you find anything that works well.
Ups and downs are tough. But that's what makes life interesting - otherwise it'd just be like talking in monotone all the time. Like the clear-eyes/dry-eyes guy. And that'd be boring.
Enjoy the time away from the bustle, and just relax. :)
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