Reminiscent of a Past Life

The last orchestra concert of the year is on Friday night, and this week our guest conductor finally arrived. He just finished as the assistant conductor in Cleveland; he was there during my last year in Cleveland, but that was when I hardly ever went to the orchestra, so I don't remember him at all.

He's a wonderful conductor and playing under him was a pleasure. I won't even begin to start describing the other people we've had this year; let's just say it was great to enjoy a rehearsal again.

So, we're all sitting there - and everyone is silent and attentive (for the first time all year) - and he says 'Okay, number 73, directly.'

And all of a sudden, I swear my heart skipped a beat.

Because all the conductors associated with Cleveland say that - the Directly part. And they say it with this certain inflection...and I just hadn't heard it in years, when for so long it was something I heard almost every day.

And it brought back such a flood of emotions and memories, that it was almost like I was transported back to Cleveland and I was only 18 again.

I hardly ever think about my time there. I was a different person, it was a different life, and although I learned a lot there - in many ways, I really grew up there - it's just not a part of my consciousness anymore.

It's amazing what a certain word or phrase or smell or model of car or even color of a t-shirt can do to your thought process.

So remembering - it was good. Kind of startling, but nice all the same. I was so ready to leave by the time I moved to New Jersey that it's all too easy to think that everything associated with Cleveland was just 'bad'.

It wasn't. Sometimes I almost miss it. For now, though - I'm content with where I am and starting 'Directly' from here.