Every once in a while, I catch myself just staring in the mirror, trying to figure out what I'm thinking.
For some reason, I generally pull my hair back with my left hand and get way too close to the mirror. It might start out as an examination of some kind of skin imperfection... but then I'm staring, staring into the mirror, lost in some kind of thought that I can't place.
I'm looking into my own eyes.
Who are you? What are you doing here? How did you end up here? What is it that you want? What are you thinking?
It probably sounds hopelessly weird. How is it possible to not know what you're thinking?
For me, though... sometimes it seems that all I do is go-go-go and run and practice and go to rehearsal and try to do my homework and swim and bike and meet someone for dinner and god now I can sleep and ugh it's time to wake up and start again.
And so every once in a while, when I have a second of down time, I catch myself just zoning out in front of the mirror, not in a particularly vain way, but just staring... wondering exactly what it is that is going through my mind so much of the time.
Monday, February 04, 2008
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2 comments:
Oh, it's not just you. I catch myself doing the same. Not necessarily in front of the mirror, but just zoning out.
I wonder that all the time. and if I was better looking, I'd probably do it in the mirror as well. however, I usually try to read my mind at 2a.m. after a day where I should have been in bed hours ago and instead stayed up playing online scrabble and doubting as many of the recent options that I have taken in life as possible.
...in direct comparison though, I do occasionally glance at myself in the mirror and regularly get a blank stare back. as if I am unsure or unable to read myself. should I smile? is this mirror me happy? start up a conversation? probably best to just go our own two ways, because if I stand here long enough something will get poked, or pinched, or shaved - and that's not what strangers do to one another.
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