I hate 5ks.

I ran a 5k yesterday morning. It was my first one in almost two years. That's how much I hate 5ks. I'd run a half marathon over a 5k any day.

It was a cool race. There was no entry fee; instead, you brought a toy to donate to kids in need. 2900 people participated, and the stage at the gym was completely filled with toys. It felt good to be part of something positive that you could actually see.

I haven't been doing any speed work at all, and I haven't even been running that much. I've been so ridiculously busy over the past couple of weeks that I've been basically just teaching my 4 spinning classes a week and going to the running club runs on Saturdays. So, running once a week for a grand total of 6 miles. It's definitely been a recovery month before IM training starts.

In any case, I didn't have any expectations for the race. I actually had no intentions of even running hard. But, then the race started and I got competitive. I got competitive with all the people around me (she's ahead of me? I don't think so!), and I also got competitive with myself. Everybody probably feels like this, but I just really wanted to break my previous 5k time.

And I did. I ran the Chili Bowl in Cleveland in 24:01, and I just ran the Big Chill here in New Jersey in 23:07. My first mile was in 7:36, the second was in 7:14, and then the last 1.1 was 8:17. I think. Can you believe Little Miss Anal Type A over here forgot her watch and had to rely on the race clocks??

Now, it's been said that the race here is a little short, but I don't care. I was probably about 15 seconds behind the starting line (and my chip didn't work, OF COURSE--I've given up caring), so that makes up for any course discrepancy as far as I'm concerned.

So, new 5k PR: 23:07. I placed 10th of 70 in my age group. I'm happy with it.

And you know what? I'm actually considering doing another one, because now I just want to break 23:00. Or 22:00. Or I just want to be faster.

My legs have that nice 'I just did a track workout' feeling that you only get from speed work. I'll have to try to remember to get off my butt and run as fast as I can more often.

I still hate 5ks though. And I'm running a half marathon next weekend in Louisiana to make up for yesterday's torture.

My recital is tomorrow and I'm feeling a bit on edge and I can't quite keep my thoughts together. So, sorry for the poorly-worded post; I'll try to upload my recital by Tuesday...unless I play really horribly, in which case I'll just pretend it never happened.

This is probably stating the obvious, but performing can be really freaking hard. I had a huge solo in the orchestra concert on Friday night and my body totally pulled the whole 'flight' routine, where I had convinced myself that I just needed to puke and leave and let someone else play. And everyone hated me and I had no friends and I didn't want to play in the orchestra or do anything besides go to sleep. And eat brownies.

So, I hope I don't go through that self-inflicted hell tomorrow, because if you can just relax, performing for your friends and family can be a lot of fun. It's when you can't chill the fuck out and end up just thinking about how miserable you feel...that's when it's completely intolerable.

So, I'd ask for luck, but it's not really luck I need. It's just vibes of serenity and confidence. Send me some of those if you have a chance.