From a helpful friend...

"Anyhow, what make and model laptop do you have? Replacement keys are available for most models. As for the key itself, does it look like anything is cracked or missing any parts? Depending on the type of keyboard, there are probably four areas that attach to posts to secure the key to the keyboard. If it looks like they are all intact, you may be able to simply line up the posts to the appropriate parts of the key and press down pretty hard. With any luck, it will just snap into place. If anything on the key is cracked or missing this probably won't work and you will need a new key."

Um...
yeah, it worked. Why didn't I think of that?

I have my F key back, in full form. (See, no avoidance!) Now I can write freely with any F words I want. FFFFFFF FUCK FLUTE FUN FURRY FAN FOOTBALL FART FEMA FULL FARFENUGEN

Ha!