So today, my car got stuck in the ice. Or, I hadn't driven it since yesterday, so I don't actually know when it in fact became really stuck, but suffice it to say that when I tried to drive to the gym before my weekly dinner at my Aunt's house, I wasn't moving at nearly the rate I wanted. I wasn't moving at all.
So, I try the shovel. No, I've never shoveled before, but it can't be that hard, right?
Yes, ice is hard. It's like a rock. A big, COLD rock. A freaking boulder that my car somehow got stuck inside.
Okay. So maybe I'm not super-woman. I can't do this myself. I call AAA.
After 20 minutes on hold..."I'm sorry m'am. We aren't helping people who have 'ice problems'."
Um, yeah, really glad I'm paying for that roadside assistance thing, right? I was about to say that I wasn't having an ice problem, I was having a freaking CAR STUCK AND YOU WON'T HELP ME, YOU STUPID ASSHOLE problem, but I didn't. I just calmly hung up on the person.
So, onto the next bright idea. Let's see...we need to melt the ice, but don't have any salt.
Maybe something hot...?
I know! Let's boil some water and pour it on the ice to melt said ice.
Okay, this sounds like a good idea, right?
It's not.
Why?
BECAUSE IT'S FREAKING FREEZING OUTSIDE AND ANY WATER (BOILING OR NOT) WILL ONLY FREEZE IN A MANNER OF SECONDS. And yes, create a new layer of ice on and all around my tires.
Good God, I'm a dorkalicious idiot for not realizing that before I actually did it. And I was acting like a complete and total girl to boot.
I'll make the rest of the story a choose-your-own-adventure type thing, because the reality is that my own ending was pretty lame and not nearly as exciting as it could have been. Two hours and many curse words later, car is exorcised from boulder in very ordinary manner...
I didn't make it to the gym, but I did get to my aunt's for dinner...So, my belly grew a little and my ego shrunk. It all evens out.
1 comments:
We've all found ourselves stuck at one time or another. And if we haven't, yet, we will. You can probably take that literally and figuratively, too.
A midwesterner's secret for handling this type of issue. Get a good sized bag of salt or sand and throw it in the trunk of your car. Years ago, we did it for traction on rear wheel drive vehicles. Now, it's just a good practice for when you get stuck. Salt is better if you think you'll have a little ice to melt. Sand is better if you think you're going to need traction and too much ice to melt.
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