did you know keyboards are different in france? they are...and im finding it impossible to type.
i promise that ive been writing everything dozn and will give a real overview soon...give me a week so that i can get to england where the keyboards are normal.
but. this is probably not even necessary to say, but the race was amazing. the bike was stupidly hard for me, but i got through it and the finishline was beyond amazing. lights flashing in your face, cheerleaders yelling, and can you believe i got to stand on the podium at the awards ceremony because i was third in my age group?? i even have a trophey.
next week, pictures and the complete story.
love to all....lots of it.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Thursday, June 22, 2006
I'm in Amsterdam
And I'm so ridiculously tired. It's like 3:30 EST time and I know I should try to sleep in the lounge, but I just can't seem to do it.
My flight to Nice is still 2 and a half hours away (I've been here for 2 hours already)...what to do? I can't even seem to make the computer interesting...grr...
But, the trip was gone relatively well so far...no major drama with flights on my side of things, and I even managed to get the bike on the plane for free (a nice smile and a forgetful attendent made that one possible). I'm just feeling some major jet lag...and I know I'm going to have to stay awake all day once I get to Nice...otherwise I'll feel the desperate need to take a nap in the middle of the race on Sunday.
I have a splinter in my finger and I'm obsessing over it and making it much worse than it needs to be. Typical.
I know I should be excited to be in a different country, but I'm just in an airport, you know? Somehow, no matter where you are, airports all seem the same. This one is pretty damn cool though...I'm trying to refrain from spending money though, because I figure the stuff to buy in Nice and Rome and even at the expo will be much more exciting than anything I can buy at any airport...
Alright...this post is boring me as I write it, so I can't imagine anyone will want to read it. Just wanted to check in and let you all know my plane didn't take a nose-dive into the ocean. More soon!
My flight to Nice is still 2 and a half hours away (I've been here for 2 hours already)...what to do? I can't even seem to make the computer interesting...grr...
But, the trip was gone relatively well so far...no major drama with flights on my side of things, and I even managed to get the bike on the plane for free (a nice smile and a forgetful attendent made that one possible). I'm just feeling some major jet lag...and I know I'm going to have to stay awake all day once I get to Nice...otherwise I'll feel the desperate need to take a nap in the middle of the race on Sunday.
I have a splinter in my finger and I'm obsessing over it and making it much worse than it needs to be. Typical.
I know I should be excited to be in a different country, but I'm just in an airport, you know? Somehow, no matter where you are, airports all seem the same. This one is pretty damn cool though...I'm trying to refrain from spending money though, because I figure the stuff to buy in Nice and Rome and even at the expo will be much more exciting than anything I can buy at any airport...
Alright...this post is boring me as I write it, so I can't imagine anyone will want to read it. Just wanted to check in and let you all know my plane didn't take a nose-dive into the ocean. More soon!
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Now it's for real...
I'm going to go on a quick 3m run, just to loosen up...with the hopes that if I refrain from taking a nap right now (because I slept HORRIBLY last night), I'll be able to sleep on the plane and therefore avoid some of the time-change-feeling-like-crap nonsense.
So. 3 hours and counting. A quick run. Getting dressed...getting together the last minute stuff you can't pack the night before...and I'm out of here...
!!!!!
You guys know about the time button? You know...the one that gets pressed without you knowing it and all of a sudden events that seemed impossibly far away are somehow upon you? Like graduating from 8th grade? And going away to college? And then graduating from said college?
And...an IronMan???
yikes.
Ready or not (ready!!!!)...here we go...
[I promised family the track-me-link would be easily accessible, and I know how hard it is to scroll down through the page...so, here is it again: www.ironmanlive.com, bib-number 1003]
So. 3 hours and counting. A quick run. Getting dressed...getting together the last minute stuff you can't pack the night before...and I'm out of here...
!!!!!
You guys know about the time button? You know...the one that gets pressed without you knowing it and all of a sudden events that seemed impossibly far away are somehow upon you? Like graduating from 8th grade? And going away to college? And then graduating from said college?
And...an IronMan???
yikes.
Ready or not (ready!!!!)...here we go...
[I promised family the track-me-link would be easily accessible, and I know how hard it is to scroll down through the page...so, here is it again: www.ironmanlive.com, bib-number 1003]
Pics from my Grandfather's 80th Birthday
the beautiful hostess (aunt sandy) and her mother
the birthday card we all had to sign on the way in
the whole family
the tent, pre-party
me and grandpa bob
the older (hahaha!) generation of cousins
the girl cousins: laurel, me, kaitlin (look, she has my hair!), and olivia
me with Cousin Eileen
cousins laurel and olivia
grandpa bob (the birthday boy!) and grandma ann
the birthday card we all had to sign on the way in
the whole family
the tent, pre-party
me and grandpa bob
the older (hahaha!) generation of cousins
the girl cousins: laurel, me, kaitlin (look, she has my hair!), and olivia
me with Cousin Eileen
cousins laurel and olivia
grandpa bob (the birthday boy!) and grandma ann
Monday, June 19, 2006
from the CIM Notes, page 7 (kind of dorky, but also kind of cool...)
A Winning Attitude
Ask Susanna Loewy what she’s been up to lately, and you might be surprised with the answer. Susanna received a Bachelor of Music degree in 2003 and a Master of Music degree in 2005 as a fl ute student of Joshua Smith. Last year, she assisted at CIM Summer FluteFest.
But that’s not all! In the past year-and-a-half, Susanna has become increasingly involved with triathlons, long-distance athletic events with three stages (swimming, bicycling and running). In May, she participated in the Half-Ironman Wildflower Triathlon in Monterey County, California. The event includes swimming 1.2 miles, biking 56 miles and running 13.1 miles! Next up is the full Ironman Triathlon (swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles and running 26.2 miles) in Nice, France on June 25.
Her involvement in the sport is for more than athletic purposes. Susanna participated in the Wildflower race with Team in Training, the world’s largest endurance sports training program, to support research to cure leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin’s disease and myeloma – and to improve the quality of life for patients and their families. Team in Training is the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s (LLS) biggest fundraiser.
Last summer, Susanna worked in the Team in Training offi ce at the LLS of Northern Ohio. In March, she performed a recital to benefit LLS with Lorenzo Salvagni, accompanying student of Anita Pontremoli in the Master of Music degree program. The concert raised more than $700. She raised $3,000 this year, and has raised more than $6,800 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society during the past two triathlon seasons. As if her own contribution was not enough, Susanna this year added the role of Mentor. As a Mentor, she was assigned a group of people from the team (Mentees) with whom to share what she learned from the program last year.
According to Susanna, “In my relatively short life span, I have known way too many people with cancer. I’m happy to say that most of them have recovered; we’re doing our part...we’re conquering!” If you would like more information about Team in Training, visit www.teamintraining.org, or check out Susanna’s fund-raising page at www.active.com/donate/tntnoh/curlysu.
Ask Susanna Loewy what she’s been up to lately, and you might be surprised with the answer. Susanna received a Bachelor of Music degree in 2003 and a Master of Music degree in 2005 as a fl ute student of Joshua Smith. Last year, she assisted at CIM Summer FluteFest.
But that’s not all! In the past year-and-a-half, Susanna has become increasingly involved with triathlons, long-distance athletic events with three stages (swimming, bicycling and running). In May, she participated in the Half-Ironman Wildflower Triathlon in Monterey County, California. The event includes swimming 1.2 miles, biking 56 miles and running 13.1 miles! Next up is the full Ironman Triathlon (swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles and running 26.2 miles) in Nice, France on June 25.
Her involvement in the sport is for more than athletic purposes. Susanna participated in the Wildflower race with Team in Training, the world’s largest endurance sports training program, to support research to cure leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin’s disease and myeloma – and to improve the quality of life for patients and their families. Team in Training is the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s (LLS) biggest fundraiser.
Last summer, Susanna worked in the Team in Training offi ce at the LLS of Northern Ohio. In March, she performed a recital to benefit LLS with Lorenzo Salvagni, accompanying student of Anita Pontremoli in the Master of Music degree program. The concert raised more than $700. She raised $3,000 this year, and has raised more than $6,800 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society during the past two triathlon seasons. As if her own contribution was not enough, Susanna this year added the role of Mentor. As a Mentor, she was assigned a group of people from the team (Mentees) with whom to share what she learned from the program last year.
According to Susanna, “In my relatively short life span, I have known way too many people with cancer. I’m happy to say that most of them have recovered; we’re doing our part...we’re conquering!” If you would like more information about Team in Training, visit www.teamintraining.org, or check out Susanna’s fund-raising page at www.active.com/donate/tntnoh/curlysu.
the day after tomorrow...
I'll be on my way to France!!!!
I think I got really, truly excited for the first time today. I spent an hour looking at the Ironman France website, and just couldn't seem to separate myself from the computer.
There are only 3 people in my age group. So. Worst case scenario (assuming I actually make the damn bike cutoff), I get third place...you think they give out age group awards at IronMan races? I'm actually thinking not, somehow...
My Brita filter is blinking red at me, saying that it is no longer doing its job, saying that it is, in fact, poisoning me with bacteria instead of weeding out whatever it's supposed to be weeding out...
But anyway...France! In 2 days!!!!! I swam this morning and felt really great. I'm not fast anymore. That's okay. I can do the distance and that's all that matters. I have plenty of time to be fast, and now is not that time. And honestly? I'll never be THAT fast, but I actually can go pretty far, comparably. So, this is my thing for now. I just have to maintain 12-13mph on the bike. I can do that, even in the mountains; just please think good thoughts about my tires...no puncture wounds, no flats, no anything whatsoever...just normal, completely inflated, tires.
And then once I get off of the bike? I just have to get through the 4 out-and-backs of the marathon. I'm glad it's 4 loops...you just have to keep thinking that you only have 3 miles until the turnaround...
Hey, guys? I'm going to be an IronMan!!!
And you know what? If it doesn't work on that particular day and time...it's okay. I'll try again next year...
The day after tomorrow, guys...!!!!!!!!!
I think I got really, truly excited for the first time today. I spent an hour looking at the Ironman France website, and just couldn't seem to separate myself from the computer.
There are only 3 people in my age group. So. Worst case scenario (assuming I actually make the damn bike cutoff), I get third place...you think they give out age group awards at IronMan races? I'm actually thinking not, somehow...
My Brita filter is blinking red at me, saying that it is no longer doing its job, saying that it is, in fact, poisoning me with bacteria instead of weeding out whatever it's supposed to be weeding out...
But anyway...France! In 2 days!!!!! I swam this morning and felt really great. I'm not fast anymore. That's okay. I can do the distance and that's all that matters. I have plenty of time to be fast, and now is not that time. And honestly? I'll never be THAT fast, but I actually can go pretty far, comparably. So, this is my thing for now. I just have to maintain 12-13mph on the bike. I can do that, even in the mountains; just please think good thoughts about my tires...no puncture wounds, no flats, no anything whatsoever...just normal, completely inflated, tires.
And then once I get off of the bike? I just have to get through the 4 out-and-backs of the marathon. I'm glad it's 4 loops...you just have to keep thinking that you only have 3 miles until the turnaround...
Hey, guys? I'm going to be an IronMan!!!
And you know what? If it doesn't work on that particular day and time...it's okay. I'll try again next year...
The day after tomorrow, guys...!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
lots and lots of pictures...i love this apartment!
my living room
my bedroom
my dining area
my kitchen
my practice area (taken from where my bed is)
my walk in closet!!! (still barely enough room-pathetic, eh?)
window nook no.1
window nook no.2--i want to paint these dormer windows 'loewy blue'...i think i'll do the trim around the rest of the apartment too...it's this nasty boy gray color right now. it's going to wait until i get back from europe, but i think when that's done the apartment will be absolutely perfect...
my library areaand now some pictures of all of us CIMers playing at Cafe Limbo's Open Mic Night a couple of weeks ago:
ta and jill playing
ta with her cello case
ta and matt, hamming it up
me and phil, sitting in the corner
jill and i...it's been so long that i don't know how to start...
Pictures are to be included, for sure.
Let's see...last Thursday I went to my Grandmother's house in Mountain Lakes, NJ and saw my aunt from England that I haven't seen in years...my mom and of course grandparents were there too, and we all just hung around. My grandparents live on a lake, so I got in some good open water swimming (about 2 miles!).
On Friday, I left pretty early to go back to Cleveland for the weekend. Going back to Cleveland, I felt like I was going back home. I didn't at all feel weird about being back. I know, I know...it had only been 6 days since I moved, but I have this place all set up now...it's really where I live. In Cleveland, I stayed with my student's parents, and just kind of flitted from place to place. It was nice to have no responsibilities (taking out the trash, washing the dishes, etc), but at the same time it was kind of unnerving to be in a place that I've called home for so long, but not really have a home there...
Saturday, I did a 15 mile run by myself...I actually felt good throughout the run, but it definitely gets a little boring to run that long of a distance by yourself.
Sunday was the 'Sunday in June' ride. I went with Kurt, Bryce, and Brian, and we all did the 100 mile route. It was a gorgeous ride through Amish territory and all throughout Ohio farmland. But jeez...talk about hilly. It actually has more climbing than the bike course in Nice--and that's through the mountains! So, I guess I feel pretty good about the biking. I'll have to make sure I make the cutoff, but other than that I think I can definitely get through it. I got lost at one point and added about 4 miles...I was incredibly annoyed (okay, I was pissed) at the time, but afterwards I got to gloat to Kurt and Bryce that I had done more than them, so it ended up okay. Pretty funny, eh?
Oh! On the ride, I almost got eaten by dogs. Really. I got chased for a good freaking mile and these things would just not let up. Guys, if you ever need some practice with sprinting, just get some dogs on your tail...it'll make you pedal like you've never pedaled before. I'm a total dog/animal lover, and I've never experienced real fear around them before. But, these damn things were drooling all over the place and nipping at my heels. I was shaking when I finally dropped them. This was not a silent pursuit either...the dogs were barking, and I was screaming at the top of my lungs for them to 'Go Home!'...high drama, for sure. Makes me kind of wish someone had been videoing it, if only for the sake of entertainment.
On Monday, I did a quick 2000 recovery swim and then met up with all the people in Cleveland that I hadn't really gotten to say good-bye to...it was a nice day, which ended with a FATBURGER!!! Yes, they opened one in Cleveland, and rumor has it that there is going to be a second one before long. These burgers awesome, but I guess that eating them on a regular basis probably wouldn't be the best for training...and probably wouldn't be that healthy in general, right?
Tuesday, I went down to Wooster to visit Phil and had a really great time. It was nice to see him and his environment down there; Wooster has a really pretty, laid back campus. Then on the way back, my car broke down.
Yep. $1000 of 'minor' repairs. I guess it's good that something huge didn't collapse, but seeing all those little things add up to such a big number was just heartbreaking. It was kind of scary too; on the highway, my car started shaking and groaning and it smelled like smoke and the 'check engine now; you're about to blow up' light was blinking at me. So, I pulled over and checked the oil. It was fine and I was only about 2 highway miles from the Saturn dealership, so I decided to just roll my way there. I went 40 mph and managed to get there just fine. They fixed my car overnight and now it's running better than it has in years, so it all ended fine. It just resulted in me having to rely on rides from friends for a night, and made me leave Cleveland later than anticipated on Wednesday. I'm really lucky it happened so close to the Saturn place, and not in the middle of Pennsylvania the next day. That would have been a complete disaster...
Tuesday night we all went over to Kurt's and ran and then had an Ironman planning evening. It's going to rock, guys. We have awesome places to stay and this trip is just going to be great. I'm nervous about the race; I'm nervous about making the bike cutoff, but you know what? I think I'll be fine. I'm not going to be breaking any records; I know I could have trained harder and been faster by now. But, it's been a hard spring and I am where I am. Whatever happens is fine. There will be other races, eh?
Wednesday was basically just a driving back day, although I did get to spend some time with Ta before I left. I was waiting for my car to be done, so she drove out to Beachwood and we took a walk. It was gorgeous in Cleveland the entire time I was there...kind of unbelievable.
Thursday I was back in New Brunswick...I met my aunts and we went to IKEA!!! I didn't go crazy; I just got some things to finish putting my apartment together...mainly cushions and lights and a small dresser for the ridiculous abundance of clothes that I have. Of course, Thursday night was occupied by putting all the stuff together. I'm happy to report that I managed with little difficulty and only swore at the stuff once or twice.
Yesterday I went to New York. Yep, this country girl got herself to the city. I met up with Derek, and we went for a 7-8m run around Central Park. He took me on some detours to see the typical New York stuff...I think I was ridiculously slow for him and he probably had to go for another run later in the day to make up for it, but I had a nice run. We went to get frozen yogurt afterwards and then watched Six Feet Under...it was a perfectly enjoyable afternoon. Afterwards, I met up with an old friend and we ate some awesome Thai food and just caught up. I'm ridiculously pumped to be in the same area as her. She's one of the only flute players that I've ever been close to with no reservations. I hope we see a lot of each other next year, and maybe even do some gigs together??? I guess I'll have to take my flute out and start practicing in order to actually get paid to play though, eh?
So, today I'm blogging, obviously. I kind of felt like it was futile since it had been so long and since I'm leaving next Wednesday for almost a month. But...maybe I'll be able to blog overseas? I'm not going to bring my computer, so pictures will be hard, but I'm sure I'll be able to find internet cafes where I can post little updates...don't give up on me yet, guys...I'll get back into the swing of things, I promise.
Also on the agenda for today is a 50-60 mile bike ride. Tomorrow is my grandfather's 80th birthday, so I'm going to head over to their place early to get a swim in before the extravaganza starts...then on Monday I'll try for a 10-15 mile run and the taper will begin! I can't believe I leave on Wednesday. Arghhhh!!!! I'm excited and nervous and every other emotion that I can't even begin to describe.
Alright, enough of this boring blathering. I'm going to end this post and then put up a picture post...
Let's see...last Thursday I went to my Grandmother's house in Mountain Lakes, NJ and saw my aunt from England that I haven't seen in years...my mom and of course grandparents were there too, and we all just hung around. My grandparents live on a lake, so I got in some good open water swimming (about 2 miles!).
On Friday, I left pretty early to go back to Cleveland for the weekend. Going back to Cleveland, I felt like I was going back home. I didn't at all feel weird about being back. I know, I know...it had only been 6 days since I moved, but I have this place all set up now...it's really where I live. In Cleveland, I stayed with my student's parents, and just kind of flitted from place to place. It was nice to have no responsibilities (taking out the trash, washing the dishes, etc), but at the same time it was kind of unnerving to be in a place that I've called home for so long, but not really have a home there...
Saturday, I did a 15 mile run by myself...I actually felt good throughout the run, but it definitely gets a little boring to run that long of a distance by yourself.
Sunday was the 'Sunday in June' ride. I went with Kurt, Bryce, and Brian, and we all did the 100 mile route. It was a gorgeous ride through Amish territory and all throughout Ohio farmland. But jeez...talk about hilly. It actually has more climbing than the bike course in Nice--and that's through the mountains! So, I guess I feel pretty good about the biking. I'll have to make sure I make the cutoff, but other than that I think I can definitely get through it. I got lost at one point and added about 4 miles...I was incredibly annoyed (okay, I was pissed) at the time, but afterwards I got to gloat to Kurt and Bryce that I had done more than them, so it ended up okay. Pretty funny, eh?
Oh! On the ride, I almost got eaten by dogs. Really. I got chased for a good freaking mile and these things would just not let up. Guys, if you ever need some practice with sprinting, just get some dogs on your tail...it'll make you pedal like you've never pedaled before. I'm a total dog/animal lover, and I've never experienced real fear around them before. But, these damn things were drooling all over the place and nipping at my heels. I was shaking when I finally dropped them. This was not a silent pursuit either...the dogs were barking, and I was screaming at the top of my lungs for them to 'Go Home!'...high drama, for sure. Makes me kind of wish someone had been videoing it, if only for the sake of entertainment.
On Monday, I did a quick 2000 recovery swim and then met up with all the people in Cleveland that I hadn't really gotten to say good-bye to...it was a nice day, which ended with a FATBURGER!!! Yes, they opened one in Cleveland, and rumor has it that there is going to be a second one before long. These burgers awesome, but I guess that eating them on a regular basis probably wouldn't be the best for training...and probably wouldn't be that healthy in general, right?
Tuesday, I went down to Wooster to visit Phil and had a really great time. It was nice to see him and his environment down there; Wooster has a really pretty, laid back campus. Then on the way back, my car broke down.
Yep. $1000 of 'minor' repairs. I guess it's good that something huge didn't collapse, but seeing all those little things add up to such a big number was just heartbreaking. It was kind of scary too; on the highway, my car started shaking and groaning and it smelled like smoke and the 'check engine now; you're about to blow up' light was blinking at me. So, I pulled over and checked the oil. It was fine and I was only about 2 highway miles from the Saturn dealership, so I decided to just roll my way there. I went 40 mph and managed to get there just fine. They fixed my car overnight and now it's running better than it has in years, so it all ended fine. It just resulted in me having to rely on rides from friends for a night, and made me leave Cleveland later than anticipated on Wednesday. I'm really lucky it happened so close to the Saturn place, and not in the middle of Pennsylvania the next day. That would have been a complete disaster...
Tuesday night we all went over to Kurt's and ran and then had an Ironman planning evening. It's going to rock, guys. We have awesome places to stay and this trip is just going to be great. I'm nervous about the race; I'm nervous about making the bike cutoff, but you know what? I think I'll be fine. I'm not going to be breaking any records; I know I could have trained harder and been faster by now. But, it's been a hard spring and I am where I am. Whatever happens is fine. There will be other races, eh?
Wednesday was basically just a driving back day, although I did get to spend some time with Ta before I left. I was waiting for my car to be done, so she drove out to Beachwood and we took a walk. It was gorgeous in Cleveland the entire time I was there...kind of unbelievable.
Thursday I was back in New Brunswick...I met my aunts and we went to IKEA!!! I didn't go crazy; I just got some things to finish putting my apartment together...mainly cushions and lights and a small dresser for the ridiculous abundance of clothes that I have. Of course, Thursday night was occupied by putting all the stuff together. I'm happy to report that I managed with little difficulty and only swore at the stuff once or twice.
Yesterday I went to New York. Yep, this country girl got herself to the city. I met up with Derek, and we went for a 7-8m run around Central Park. He took me on some detours to see the typical New York stuff...I think I was ridiculously slow for him and he probably had to go for another run later in the day to make up for it, but I had a nice run. We went to get frozen yogurt afterwards and then watched Six Feet Under...it was a perfectly enjoyable afternoon. Afterwards, I met up with an old friend and we ate some awesome Thai food and just caught up. I'm ridiculously pumped to be in the same area as her. She's one of the only flute players that I've ever been close to with no reservations. I hope we see a lot of each other next year, and maybe even do some gigs together??? I guess I'll have to take my flute out and start practicing in order to actually get paid to play though, eh?
So, today I'm blogging, obviously. I kind of felt like it was futile since it had been so long and since I'm leaving next Wednesday for almost a month. But...maybe I'll be able to blog overseas? I'm not going to bring my computer, so pictures will be hard, but I'm sure I'll be able to find internet cafes where I can post little updates...don't give up on me yet, guys...I'll get back into the swing of things, I promise.
Also on the agenda for today is a 50-60 mile bike ride. Tomorrow is my grandfather's 80th birthday, so I'm going to head over to their place early to get a swim in before the extravaganza starts...then on Monday I'll try for a 10-15 mile run and the taper will begin! I can't believe I leave on Wednesday. Arghhhh!!!! I'm excited and nervous and every other emotion that I can't even begin to describe.
Alright, enough of this boring blathering. I'm going to end this post and then put up a picture post...
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
No Internet at my apartment yet...
and this coffee shop is closing at 9.
I wouldn't have spent so long on my email if I knew that...
Oh well...just a quick update.
I moved to New Brunswick on Saturday, and have successfully unpacked. I love my apartment, surprisingly. I'm really happy with the way it turned out...pictures to come, for sure.
The Cablevision guy is going to come next Friday, so I'll be without real internet for another week and a half. I might survive, but I'm not entirely sure. I've been fine so far, but I've been pretty distracted with unpacking. Now that that's done...what to do with myself?
I've gone for a couple of runs and think I basically have New Brunswick figured out. I practiced a little today...yep...played the flute--quite the oddity these days.
My aunt, mom, and grandmother have all come and seen the apartment--it's been great to have visitors...
It's nice to live alone (I can walk around naked if I want to...), but it's also kind of weird. It's hard to get myself to get dressed in the morning...I kind of feel like there isn't much of a point...who is going to see me, you know? It'll be better/easier once school starts, I know.
All in all, moving has been a lot easier than I thought it would be. I'm definitely lonely, and I miss my Cleveland friends...but I'm adjusting better than I thought I would. It's definitely not a straight line up from here, but the starting point on the graph is a bit higher up than I previously thought...
So that's about it. I think I'm 5 minutes past the closing time here. More later, I promise. Now that I found this coffee shop, they're going to have problems getting me to leave!
I wouldn't have spent so long on my email if I knew that...
Oh well...just a quick update.
I moved to New Brunswick on Saturday, and have successfully unpacked. I love my apartment, surprisingly. I'm really happy with the way it turned out...pictures to come, for sure.
The Cablevision guy is going to come next Friday, so I'll be without real internet for another week and a half. I might survive, but I'm not entirely sure. I've been fine so far, but I've been pretty distracted with unpacking. Now that that's done...what to do with myself?
I've gone for a couple of runs and think I basically have New Brunswick figured out. I practiced a little today...yep...played the flute--quite the oddity these days.
My aunt, mom, and grandmother have all come and seen the apartment--it's been great to have visitors...
It's nice to live alone (I can walk around naked if I want to...), but it's also kind of weird. It's hard to get myself to get dressed in the morning...I kind of feel like there isn't much of a point...who is going to see me, you know? It'll be better/easier once school starts, I know.
All in all, moving has been a lot easier than I thought it would be. I'm definitely lonely, and I miss my Cleveland friends...but I'm adjusting better than I thought I would. It's definitely not a straight line up from here, but the starting point on the graph is a bit higher up than I previously thought...
So that's about it. I think I'm 5 minutes past the closing time here. More later, I promise. Now that I found this coffee shop, they're going to have problems getting me to leave!
Thursday, June 01, 2006
I can't believe it's possible...
But, I'm done. I'm all packed.
The house is so freaking depressing; I can't stand to be in it.
Baruch got picked up today, and so everything is just way too quiet. No dog, no boyfriend...just me. I need to be comfortable with that, I know...but it's just so hard sometimes.
And I have wonderful friends that I'm very thankful for, but I'm moving...and of course I'll stay in touch...but who is going to go to ice cream with me next week?
24 hours in a day--what am I going to do with them?
I'm scared of being lonely all the time.
I know I'll meet people, but it'll take some effort...and I'll have to be patient (not my forte), and I just plain don't want to move.
7 years in Cleveland--that's a 3rd of my waking life...at least...maybe more?
I'm not just scared of being lonely; I'm scared of everything.
And yes, I had some wine so I'm being maybe a little more dramatic than otherwise...but that doesn't change the validity of the feelings...
A friend told me that if I just have faith that I've been given everything I need, I'll be fine. And that's great...except...how do you have that faith all the time? I think, in general, I do have it. Sometimes. Then other times...I don't at all...
You can't believe in something just because you're scared not to believe, but isn't it just so much easier to think that there is someone else in control?
What do you do with your past? Do you keep going and pretend it's not there? Do you take it with you and keep it as part of yourself? Do you want it there with you or do you want to start over? How do you know what you want to be; who you want to be? When is that determined?
I'm 24 and I wish I were 35. I want my life to be settled; I don't want to be in transition anymore. I want to be on a clear path that I understand. I hate liminality.
I have to get up at 5:15 tomorrow to swim. I swam 4000 yards today, which I felt was a big achievement, but the IronMan swim is 4224 yards (yes, I converted 2.4 miles), and that's not much longer, but it is longer. And then 112 miles on a bike? And then a marathon? Am I out of my mind?
I don't even care about that though. I'll do it; I'll get through it. I care about more than that; I care about the whole picture, and I don't know if I'm able these days to take it in. That's what bothers me. I feel like I've been concentrating on the edges of the puzzle so long that I forgot what the picture in the middle actually represents.
It's time for bed. I'll regret posting this in the morning, I'm sure.
The house is so freaking depressing; I can't stand to be in it.
Baruch got picked up today, and so everything is just way too quiet. No dog, no boyfriend...just me. I need to be comfortable with that, I know...but it's just so hard sometimes.
And I have wonderful friends that I'm very thankful for, but I'm moving...and of course I'll stay in touch...but who is going to go to ice cream with me next week?
24 hours in a day--what am I going to do with them?
I'm scared of being lonely all the time.
I know I'll meet people, but it'll take some effort...and I'll have to be patient (not my forte), and I just plain don't want to move.
7 years in Cleveland--that's a 3rd of my waking life...at least...maybe more?
I'm not just scared of being lonely; I'm scared of everything.
And yes, I had some wine so I'm being maybe a little more dramatic than otherwise...but that doesn't change the validity of the feelings...
A friend told me that if I just have faith that I've been given everything I need, I'll be fine. And that's great...except...how do you have that faith all the time? I think, in general, I do have it. Sometimes. Then other times...I don't at all...
You can't believe in something just because you're scared not to believe, but isn't it just so much easier to think that there is someone else in control?
What do you do with your past? Do you keep going and pretend it's not there? Do you take it with you and keep it as part of yourself? Do you want it there with you or do you want to start over? How do you know what you want to be; who you want to be? When is that determined?
I'm 24 and I wish I were 35. I want my life to be settled; I don't want to be in transition anymore. I want to be on a clear path that I understand. I hate liminality.
I have to get up at 5:15 tomorrow to swim. I swam 4000 yards today, which I felt was a big achievement, but the IronMan swim is 4224 yards (yes, I converted 2.4 miles), and that's not much longer, but it is longer. And then 112 miles on a bike? And then a marathon? Am I out of my mind?
I don't even care about that though. I'll do it; I'll get through it. I care about more than that; I care about the whole picture, and I don't know if I'm able these days to take it in. That's what bothers me. I feel like I've been concentrating on the edges of the puzzle so long that I forgot what the picture in the middle actually represents.
It's time for bed. I'll regret posting this in the morning, I'm sure.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)