Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Happy Mardi Gras!

MARDI GRAS, PARTY GRAS!!! YEAH!!! LAISSEZ LES BONS TEMPS ROULEZ!!!

Lots of pictures of KING CAKE soon (cause my mom is super awesome and had one sent to me to be delivered today...just so I would feel a little more like the Southern Belle I was raised to be...).

And guess what? My internet is working again! (Just in case you couldn't tell...)

Monday, February 27, 2006

I gave in.

I was trying to wait until everything is back working at my house...because really...I should be able to deal without posting for a few days.

But no. Actually, I can't deal. And so, I came down to school a little early to write before I have to teach.

I know it's not necessary, but for some reason, I just feel the need to explain myself about this huge undertaking I've committed myself to.

I guess the way to start is to just say that I feel like this is my only chance. That's a little dramatic, I know.

Here's a better version...It's never going to get any easier than it is right now.

Don't get me wrong. It's not going to be easy. It would never be easy.

But. Right now, I have a lot of free time. I don't have many committments or obligations that are stopping me. Phil gave me his blessing (because he's a wonderful, supportive boyfriend even if he knows it's going to mean seeing less of me for a while and even if he's scared I'm going to hurt myself), and he's really the only person I'm accountable to right now. So you see, I teach for a few hours in the afternoons, and I practice, but other than that...I have time. I don't have a family to take care of; I don't have a full time job; I'm not in school. This is probably the last time in my life that my situation will be so...free...

Plus, I have a base. I'm in shape. Yeah, I have a really far way to go, but I'm fully confident that I'm capable.

I have these friends that are doing it too, so I have people to train with, people who believe in me and are supportive and are actually a lot of fun...what more can you ask for?

I'm moving after the summer and I know nothing will be the same. I'll keep in touch with my Cleveland friends; I'll find new traithlete friends; I'm going to keep doing this stuff...it's part of me now. But, I guess I feel like this is kind of a farewell to Cleveland and this life I have here. I don't know if this makes sense, but somehow I just feel like I need to do this in order to be 'okay' with moving. I've been here 7 years now...that's almost a 3rd of my life...moving is a big deal, you know? It's petrifying, actually.

So, I know it's a little crazy to sign up for an IM that is less than 6 months away. But, it's not like I'm starting my training now. I've been training; I just have a new purpose...and like it or not, my training is about to super-intensify.

On that front, Saturday I went to a spinning double and ran during the 15 minutes between the 2 classes, and then ran 3 miles afterwards...3 hours of exercising and you know what? I felt fine...I even had fun!

Sunday I did the indoor tri led by the Cleveland Triathlon Club and managed to win my age group, even if it was only because Liz didn't compete. Receiving a little ribbon (and some socks!) is always fun.

And so now for the last order of business. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I realized a fatal flaw of mine is being too sensitive to what other people think about me. Who CARES what other people think, right? It's just so hard sometimes to follow up on that manner of thinking...it's hard for me, at least.

So...here I go with another cheese-mageese revelation...Life is short. It's just plain too short to be miserable about other people's insecurities. So, I'm going to surround myself with people who make me happy and who I make happy. Those other people? This may be a bit harsh, but...they can go to hell. No grudges...if people who were mean and biting in the past change and decide to be nice...well, I love to be around nice people.

Quote of the day (from a song by the Smiths):
Why do I spend time with people who don't care if I live or die? ...
And why do I give valuable time to people that I'd much rather kick in the eye?
Listen to the song...it's not as stupid as those lyrics seem. I really like the Smiths...heh...I really like 80s music (there's the REAL revelation for today, right?). So anyway, I need to go practice and teach and spin and lift weights and just maybe tear myself away from the computer. One more day, guys. Tomorrow, Mr. Adelphia-repairman is coming. Yeah!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Stupid Internet

My internet is down and it's making me realize how unbelievably addicted I am. Maybe it's good for me to have a little bit of withdrawal, because I'm definitely having uncomfotable, panic-filled symptoms.

Repair guy is coming on Tuesday, so I guess it'll be until then before I can write a real post.

But...Thanks guys, for all the support about this IM thing. Can't wait to be able to really write about this past weekend, etc.

And hey! I got into Rutgers! Now I just have to wait to hear from Yale...

Thursday, February 23, 2006

I've got to get to the pool...

But guys, I have some pretty exciting news. Crazy, don't know what the hell I'm thinking, kind of news. I've only told 4 or so people, and everytime I say something I think I should probably just back out. Actually, everytime I even think about it, my next thought is 'no way in hell'.

And let me just say...as I talked about in my last post, it's so easy for things to 'click' and then you think you know what's going in your life, and then there is another type of 'click' (which is also way too easy) and then all of a sudden your life changes. I'll admit, there was a brief pause beforehand as my hand paused doubtfully, but then quickly and instantly, authoritatively, I clicked that button--that ever present icon that is so little on my computer screen (do images on a computer screen even really exist? and if not, how come you can do so much with them?), but damn it's an icon that stands for a lot--and now it is what it is.

I've been wavering back and forth for too long now.


And so there is no more wavering. Sure, there will be doubts and fears and 'maybe this was a bad decision' type of thinking, but this is what I'm doing, and I'm proud and ready and here I go.

I know it's a little weird to let the world know before individuals, but I'm scared of the reactions, I'm scared that people looking at me like I'm crazy will make me think I'm crazy and those doubts will come back and I really don't need that right now. Hell, I don't need that ever. So, here you are world...no unenthusiastic 'you can't do it' comments, please...

On June, 25, 2006...I will be an IronMan.
IronMan France, here I come.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

For Bolder [or] and then it Clicked

So, Bolder wanted to know about my perceived rate of exersion during the 5K, and normally I would briefly mention such requests and then ignore them...

(cause I too can play the 'bad sport' game)

But for some reason, the question got me thinking...

While I was running, I wanted to stop. Immediately. I kept telling myself to just start walking because this running thing is a whole bunch of crap and it's terribly overrated and why does anyone try to run as fast as they can for 3.1m anyway? It's weird.

So, perhaps my perceived exertion was relatively high (I refrain from this kind of thinking when training)...but here's the thing...my heart rate wasn't that high. It took me about 40 seconds to recover after the race. I remember previous races where I was in serious puking danger for several minutes afterwards and even started dialing 911 on my cell phone in fear that I was dying.

So maybe I could have pushed more? I don't know. And I guess that is exactly what intrigues me. How do we know where the limit is? I don't want to end up in an abulance again, but I don't want to be a wimp either. And, how do we figure out where that line is while racing?

According to Liz, it's all a head game...and to a certain extent, I believe her...but on the other hand, we do have physical limits, whether or not we want to believe that...and so how do you go about finding that limit? Because we have to find it...the goal is to find it, and then slowly push it back until we don't know where it is again...and then find it again and repeat the cycle.

Here's the bad simile of the year: It's like climbing stairs that are REALLY far apart. You step up one, and you're closer to the top, but you can no longer see where the next stair is...so you have to just carefully walk along your present level so that you don't trip on that next step...and so that when you do get there, you're ready to pick up your feet and climb.

While riding my bike yesterday (yes, on my trainer--it's still coldcoldcold out), I listened to Wil and Kahuna's Podcast No. 5. Now, all the podcasts have been interesting and informative and a lot of fun to listen to. But, something in this last one really 'clicked' with me. They were talking about being able to just have fun with this whole triathlon thing, and how it can be really hard for pro athletes because they define themselves by their racing results.

And all of a sudden my legs stopped turning and I started to laugh. I finally realized 'Why I Tri'. (I hadn't been able to come up with a good, true answer and it's been bugging me...if I don't know why I do it, then what's the point?)

And so, my big revelation: It's really the same thing as playing the flute, just a different discipline. For the past year and a half I've been doing triathlons and I've been so proud of myself for finding something completely, utterly different from music with which to involve myself. And all this time, I've been repeating myself. At first I was weirded out and numbly disappointed, but my legs slowly started to move again and I realized: It's okay. Now I know. This is who I am.

An explaination: With music, you have to be so unbelievably careful that you're not defining yourself by which summer festivals you get into, how you do at auditions, which teachers are willing to teach you, etc etc etc.

This sounds obvious.

It's remarkably easy to intellectually tell yourself that you're the same player no matter what your audition results are and that different audition committees can hear the same player in a completely differing light and there is so much political nepotism crap out there and you are who you are no matter what.

But. When you've been working for months on the same damn music and you finally get to the time and place where you're supposed to put it all out on that line, and then something crappy happens and one note doesn't come out and then your brain freaks and all of a sudden a million notes don't come out and then it's over and you screwed up and there's nothing you can do about it and this never happened in the practice room...EVER...well...it's hard to not beat yourself up and not give into the frustration of how do you prepare for what has never happened? It's hard to believe that you are that same player no matter what.

And how about the opposite? When everything is perfect and you love the way you sound and how could anyone not love it too? And then they don't, and you still don't get in, you still don't advance to the next round? That feels pretty damn shitty too. If your best isn't good enough, will anything ever be good enough?

But that ideal, that absolute necessity of being able to believe in yourself no matter what happens out there...and being able to just keep plugging away and keep working at it and dammit follow your schedule every day, even if everything else in the world seems wrong...that's what makes it all work out in the long run...and honestly? That's what makes it fun.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

*update

okay i realize it's not that big of a deal, but i just wanted to clarify for all you fact checkers out there.

so you don't think i'm a pathalogical liar, the results are in, and they say I finished in 24:01.5...grrr...but oh well...it's almost less annoying to be a bit further away...next time under 24:00, for sure!

6, Susanna Loewy, Cleveland OH, 24, 154, 24:01.5, 7:45/M

a real PR afterall, and some cool pictures...

the start--500+ people showed up in single digit weather!

The 'official' results aren't up yet, but I believe I finished in exactly 24:00, which is semi-annoying since I wanted to break 24:00, but also totally fine-by-me since the conditions weren't exactly ideal. I did the first mile in 7:28, which was probably a little too fast since the second was 7:46, and the third 7:50...but you know...blame in on the wind, right?

before the race--me, athena, and jen

Also, I thought my last 5K PR was 24:03, but apparently I was just completely off base with that. The race was in May, and I just looked up the time, and it was 25:04, so I definitely did a lot better this time around. Pretty cool to get faster, ya know? 7:44 pace for even 1 mile seemed totally inconceivable just a year ago, so I'm happy with the improvement.

me stopping my watch, and trying not to puke on the guy in front of me.

Many thanks to Brian for coming out just to cheer us on and take pictures. And HEY! I got to really talk to TriSaraTops, whose mom kicked butt in the race. She cheered for me as I was running in...not only am I impressed that she recognized me with the winter gear on, but I can't believe she was standing outside in that frigid-ness. I never would have been able to stand still for so long!

brian, our fabulous photographer

All in all, a nice morning. I'm glad I went, even in this ridiculous excuse for a temperature...

jen, me, liz, and athena after it was all done, enjoying the much deserved chili!

i wanna go back to louisiana ::insert more whining here::

heading out to the 5k right now and i'm kind of wondering what, exactly, my problem is.

it's so cold i can't even begin to describe the exact coldness. it's so cold my pants might as well not be on because they don't make any sort of difference. single digits cold, and i'm running a race?

obviously, there is something seriously wrong.

i'm debating between the pants that look good and are probably a little faster, and the ones that don't look good and are more bulky, but also add a bit of MUCH NEEDED warmth (cause it's COLD outside). i have the first pair on right now and would have gone with them, but i walked baruch and now my legs are tingling in a not-good-might-have-frostbite way, and i'm thinking i should re-evaluate my decision.

either way, i've decided i don't care how fast i run...it's witch-teat weather and i'm not going to beat myself up if i don't break 24:00. okay?

okay, i'm out.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I thought I was done...

I've really been considering quitting the whole flute thing lately. Maybe 'quitting' is the wrong word...

I've really been considering changing my career ideals lately.

I haven't been enjoying playing, even when in situations when I really should have been enjoying myself, and frankly...I've just been bored with it. My technique routine feels like a chore, and practicing pieces feels maybe a bit better, but not much.

I see my mom still working at it; I see my teachers still having to practice everyday...never getting a day off (even if you don't play for a day, your brain still takes over and doesn't let you relax)...and I don't want that. I really don't. I want to be able to take a vacation. I want to be able to live, and living in a practice room doesn't count.

And then today...I had a rehearsal with a pianist. I wasn't looking forward to the rehearsal; I kind of thought it was a pain in the ass to have to go down to school. But then, it was great. We were playing together and it just clicked...we were making music...something I haven't felt in way too long a time.

That's why I haven't been having fun, why I've been bored out of my mind. Of course spending your life in a practice room isn't enjoyable...you have to be able to reach for that ideal. The tedius work has to be done too, but that fun stuff...it's more necessary than I realized.

I still don't know for sure what I want to do with this little life of mine, but today's reminder...it gave me a little more confidence in my current path.

If you want a laugh...

check this post out from jojo. I was crying from laughing so hard...

Valentine's Day, etc

I had a very nice, relaxing Valentine's Day. Phil and I cooked a Greek-ish meal...pictures follow the post...we had Mousakka with beef instead of lamb, a Greek Salad, garlic-parmesean bread, and Mocha Blackout Cake with whipped cream for dessert. Everything turned out really well, and we had a nice time just talking and sitting in our little apartment. We found out the last 2 episodes of Six Feet Under had FINALLY downloaded (yep, illegally, but hey...not everyone can afford HBO), so we watched those between courses. It was a sad ending, I thought. I'm petrified of death, and so even though I really like that show, sometimes it's a little hard to watch in large quantities.

Just got back from the gym where I did some intervals...somehow it was a lot easier last week and I wasn't able to really up the intensity as much as I had wanted, which makes me kind of nervous for Saturday's 5K...I really wanted to break 24:00, but I know it's okay if I don't...there will be plenty more races, eh?

My students keep cancelling on me, and even though I usually still get paid when they do this, it's really irritating because I plan my day according to a schedule, you know? When all of a sudden I have these unplanned holes in my day, I get all stressed out. I know people have good reasons for not being able to come, and flute lessons aren't exactly No.1 on a list of priorities for most of them...but still...I need to have a little better organization within my studio, somehow. The problem is that I travel a fair amount and need to have the leeway to change lessons when I'm away...so it's hard for me to just inforce some really strict rule about make-ups, because then I would have to follow it too, ya know? I guess it's not that much longer that I'm going to be in this liminal living situation, so I should just suck it up for now, eh?

Meanwhile, it's beautiful outside and so I'm going to go enjoy it by taking a walk with my Baruch. It's supposed to be oh-so-cold again this weekend, so I've got to take advantage while I can!

phil and his mousakka

me and my mocha black out cake (to be served with homemade whipped cream)

baruch wants some too!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Trying to come down without crashing...

So I overdosed on caffiene and I'm trying kill the craziness with a beer...but it's not working and I'm starting to feel even more funky instead of normalizing. I need dinner, but it's not ready yet.
I'm finally starting to feel like I'm home again. It takes a little bit of time to get used to being back, you know? I guess I'm not that great of a traveller. I love to see be in new and interesting places, but I hate the act of travelling and I'm just way more comfortable (physically and mentally) in my own home. I'm a 'home-body', I guess.

I had a ridiculous busy day today; hence, the caffiene. I had to finish this tax crap (stupid FAFSA can go to hell for all I care at this point) and then deal with that same ticket I got right before Christmas because I'm out of town for my court date again. I HATE dealing with that type of stuff. The people at those offices are so unpleasant, and I know I would be too if ever put in their position, but it doesn't make going to the Court House or the Driver's Bureau any more appealing.

I taught a bit today for the first time in almost 2 weeks, and I feel like I enjoy it again...I just get so burnt out after a while and stop being able to have fun with it, mostly because I know I'm not doing as good of a job as I should be doing.

.......

It's morning now and I just sat down at my computer and realized I forgot to post this last night. I was so scattered and we didn't end up eating dinner until almost 11! Jojo, Dan, and Ta came over though, and we had a lot of fun. We've all been friends for a really long time now; it was good to spend some real time with them again.

I went swimming at the crack of dawn this morning, so now it's time to go back to sleep. The only way I can get myself out of bed at 4:45 is to remind myself that I can get back under that electric blanket in a few short hours. I don't know how people who have to work do it...I could never stay awake all day after waking up so early...or, if I did...I would definitely completely lose my shit around 2pm.I admire those who can persevere through naptime.

Anyway. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Back to Cleveland

So, the concert got cancelled.

Yep, it was snowed out. Rightfully so, as there was more than a freaking foot of snow in Philadelphia, and Phili didn't even get the worst of it...

But, it just feels so anticlimatic to rehearse all week and then not play a concert... ARGH!!!

So, now I'm home and I heard that I'm mentioned in the podcast this week (#4) and I'm left with a big dilemma...I haven't had a chance to listen to #3 yet...am I allowed to listen out of order? Or...will the whole center of the universe get thrown off if I do such a thing?

Regardless, I think it's a perfect excuse to get my butt right on the trainer and get started listening. (The heat has yet to kick in after a week of being off, so maybe I'll also be able to get on the bike without creating a sweat lake.) I went to spinning on Friday, but haven't done anything since and I'm really starting to feel antsy. Driving for 8 hours doesn't really help anything, obviously...

Last night, my whole family got together to kind of celebrate my Grandfather, who passed away 5 years ago this week. It was great to see everyone, and it was nice to be able to be with them during that time.

So, now back to the normal Cleveland life, although I still have 2 more trips this month before everything is totally sedintary...I have the Rutgers and Yale auditions the next 2 weekends, and then this ridiculous schedule of flying around like a freaking businessman is done. I'm pumped for the weekends though--racing every weekend, I believe, which will be a perfect stress reliever.

Okay, now on that bike!

Aunt Ridley

Of course, my Phil

Aunts Louise and Ridley

an oh-so-cute picture of cousin Jesse

Grandma Karin and Jake

GRANDMA Martha

Mel (Grandpa Ariel's best friend)

Uncle Daniel

Chantrea making ice cream soup...

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Pictures!

Just got a few more pictures from Coach Kurt taken during our spinning certification...

me 'learning to spin'

me paying for the chocolate mess of a lunch i consumed...

Kurt spinning

me spinning

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

It's a perfect day.

The weather was absolutely perfect…50’s, sunny, and dry…you really couldn’t ask for better racing conditions. My parents and I woke up at 5 to get ready for the race. I tried to find some breakfast, but guys…New Orleans just doesn’t quite work yet. The business district gives the impression of normalcy, but the façade is so thin, and very easily cracked. The night before, for example, we couldn’t get our car out of the parking garage because the card reader was malfunctioning…so, we were stuck in the garage. We ended up just taking a cab, so it wasn’t that big of a deal, but it’s the awareness of little stuff like that that makes you realize the city has a very far way to go.

So, in the morning before the race, trying to find food…nothing was open. I know it was really early, but it’s a big city, and we were in the middle of it…there should have been something open, you know? I ended up desperately bolting into a neighboring hotel and grabbing some bagels and bananas from their not-yet-open buffet.

We headed to the race and got there with just enough time for the standard standing around and last minute bathroom stops. When the race was about to begin, it was still a little chilly, but I knew better than to run with my long sleeve shirt on, so I gave it to my mom and rubbed my arms nervously for the last 5 minutes before the start. My mom cheered us off, and then left to go to a rehearsal and concert back in Lafayette (she was originally supposed to walk it with us, but she got asked to play a concerto so she [rightfully!] opted to do that instead).

My dad and I started off with a nice leisurely pace and finished the first mile in 10:12. The crowd finally began to thin out a bit after that and we could pick it up to 9:34 as we ran past the completely empty French Market. The French Market of my youth is gone, guys…the place where we would ‘illegally’ escape to during school field trips has literally evaporated with the water that conquered it. All those booths and people begging you to buy little things you wanted, but didn’t need…all gone.

After passing the French Markey area, we headed up Esplanade Drive and found a marathoner who was comfortably running our pace. He was trying to run a marathon in every state…he was up to number 36, I believe. We ran that mile in 9:47 and ended up running with him for most of the rest of the race.

Mile 3-4 went by more quickly (9:22) and I really only remember one girl who had accidentally taken off with the half-marathoners when she meant to do the 5K race which was to start 15 minutes later. Everyone around thought she was joking when she asked where the 5K turnaround was…poor girl! At that point, she had to run back and would have been at 8m roundtrip…quite a difference from her planned 3.1m!

Mile 4-5 included a ‘hill’ up an overpass and I was surprised that not only did I not get tired or winded from the incline, but I actually felt good and…dare I say it?... liked it?! Maybe those Garfield Reservation runs are actually helping! In any case, we finished that mile in 9:12. It was during this mile that we began to see the leaders coming back towards us, which was pretty cool. The leader at that time was actually a marathoner, not someone doing the half. I was bummed that we didn’t get to see the first girl before we turned for a little out and back…

Mile 5-7 (8:46, 9:09) was the out and back, with our midpoint of the race being at the turnaround. I took a Hammer Gel (raspberry) around mile 5.5, and had that same gag reflex I was having trouble with in Chicago. I’ve been using them regularly during training to get used to them, and I thought I was fine with them, but I guess I have just been using them before exercising, not during. I know I’m fine with them on the bike, but somehow taking them while running just doesn’t quite agree with me. Something with that bouncing motion just makes me want to reject it. I guess I either have to start taking them during runs when I’m training, or find some other option…

Mile 7-8 (9:14) felt good, as I think my dad and I (and 50 States Guy) were all in a really good groove. We were talking, but not talking too much, and just generally enjoying the run by the park. This area had been submerged in about 9 feet of water. One of the coolest aspects of the race was that they put the mile marker on half of the sign, and the amount of water that had flooded on the other half. It’s pretty hard imagining 9 feet of water, but you could really see the water lines on all the buildings, and so you really had to understand that it was real…not something on TV, not something abstract…but it had really happened, and it had happened there…

We really started to pick it up for Mile 8-9 (8:49) and I thought for sure we were going to be able to break the 2:00 mark. I realized then how far I've come even in the past few months...and that it’s amazing how much just a few minutes makes in terms of stamina. When I ran the Fall Classic Half in October and was really pushing myself to PR with a 8:40 min/m pace, mile 8-9 was already pretty torturous…it was cool to realize that now a 9 min/m is relatively easy for me. Whenever I get bummed about not being all that fast, I just need to remember that a year ago a 5m run was still almost unattainable. It’s incredible how much I’ve done in the past year. It makes me so excited to keep going and see where I can go with all of this. I just hope I haven’t reached some sort of genetic potential just yet…

Mile 9-10 also sped by, and we finished in 8:46. At the 10 mile marker, there was some upbeat music playing (Takin’ Care of Business, I believe) and my dad started doing pirouettes and dancing. One of the race photographers was situated there, so assuming they’ll be able to identify him (they might have missed the bib number with all of his spinning!), he’s going to have an awesome race picture.

After Mile 10, my dad started waning (I think that little dance took a bit too much out of him!) and I kept trying to get him more energized with the “Just 5K left!” stuff, but it just wasn’t working (we finished in 9:16). He saw how I had reacted to the Gel and didn’t want to take his. I finally convinced him to around 10.5, luckily. Just around that point, there was a house that had put up a HUGE banner that said “Turn for the Worse” as we turned the corner. They had beer out for anyone who wanted some, all sorts of candy…and even cigarettes for the totally insane! They had a lot of music playing too…it was great to get that boost as we were nearing the final miles. (For those that are wondering, I didn’t pick up any beer, candy, or cigarettes. Somehow the fact that I couldn’t handle a Gel made me think those other vices might not have been a great idea…)

Around Mile 11.5 my dad started to feel a little energy from the Gel and asked me if we were going to still break 2 hours. I calculated we would come in around 2:02, and he said we should try to still break 2:00. So, we said goodbye to 50 States Guy and I picked up the pace and used Liz’s words of wisdom with “Look at my shoulder blades and just keep going!” I also tried the “Just 15 more minutes! Think about how much better you’ll feel if you break 2 hours!”, but that one didn’t quite seem to work. In any case, we did pretty well and managed to finish that mile in 8:26 .

We probably should have tried to pick up the pace just a little earlier and then been able to do it a little less extremely, because 12-13 slowed a little again (8:46) and I think my dad just wanted to be done. I could have shouted stuff at him to make him kick it in, but I wanted him to have fun and I had also promised my mom I wouldn’t kill him…I’ve never been one to break a promise…

The last .1, I realized we just weren’t going to quite make it under 2:00 even with a sprint to the end, so we didn’t push it until the point of death. We just comfortably sped up for our fans and finished in 2:00:13 (chip time) with smiles on our faces.

It was the best race I’ve ever ran. Yeah, I’ve ran faster and of course it also would have been great to knock that 1 second off each mile and come in under 2:00, but really…it was just a blast to be able to just have fun with my dad and be a 9 min/m pace bunny. And I have to admit it was a bit of an ego booster…who would have thought I’d ever pace anyone?

Afterwards, we stood around with Susie and waited for Nel to finish…she had an awesome run too, knocking 12 minutes off her previous best! Then, we ate red beans and rice, drank some Michalob Ultra (by then I was ready for some beer!), and watched the marathon winners come in (2:36:36 was the winner—no paid pros were at the race). Obviously, I don’t usually get to see the winners actually win…I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone run through the banner before, so that was pretty cool.

We got back to the hotel with plenty of time to shower, pack, and get kind of relax a bit before having to check out. We went to the Hard Rock Café for lunch (tried for the House of Blues, but it was closed). Hard Rock was open, but just barely. The entire downstairs was still unusable and the menu was only a few items long…not a problem for any of us, as we just wanted some much-deserved burgers, but was just yet another eye opener.

After lunch we drove around a bit to kind of see the more damaged areas of the city. Overall, it was such a weird mixture of hope and despair. You’d drive through some neighborhoods and there would be FEMA trailers in front and people were outside working on their houses, and you felt like there was some hope of things pulling through. But then…you’d keep driving and all of a sudden all signs of life were gone and everything was totally empty and the houses were totally destroyed and it was just obvious that no one was coming back…and these weren’t even the really disparaged areas. You’re still not really allowed in the 9th ward, even if we had wanted to go there. We just drove through little middle class subdivisions that had had really cute old houses that had been just destroyed. The cars that were left barely looked like cars, and there was still glass in the streets. The thing that impacted me the most was the spray paint on all the houses…every single one of them had been searched and then marked with something like this:

The top quadrant is the date the house was searched, the left had the number of animals that had been found, the right was the code number for the person that searched the house, and the bottom quadrant was the amount of people that had been found. If the people who had owned the house had especially asked the Animal Rescue to come and search for a particular animal, the results of that search were also spray painted on the house. I don’t know why this spray paint code was such a big deal to me, but somehow it just made everything look like a war-zone in my eyes and…well…spray paint on houses, you know? It’s just not right, somehow.

The Saenger Theater, where I went year after year in those Greyhound Buses filled with High School kids to see shows like Don Quixote and Miss Saigon, is never going to be active again. This theater is a landmark of my adolescence, but more than that, it’s really an historic landmark that will forever be missed by generations of southern youth. People came from all over the greater Louisiana area to see Broadway shows there. Of course there will be another theater before long, probably a ‘better’ one. But nothing can compare to that old building where you could just breathe in the past lives of so many people being awed and amazed. I almost wish it had just been taken away, as it will eventually be. To see it now completely gutted and barely standing, when I had before remembered it as a place of lights and glory…it filled me with a kind of despair that is hard to describe. When a person dies, everyone understands. But places? You just don't expect them to leave in your lifetime...there is no preparation for their dissapearance. How can you explain your love of a certain inanimate building?

After the drive, I got dropped off at the airport and my trip came to an end. I sat outside with my broken phone and tried to sleep, but uh…the sidewalk outside of an airport isn’t really the best place to sleep. I did nod out for a while, but I couldn’t really enjoy the beautiful weather with all the traffic around. So, I parked myself near a pay phone and called anyone whose number I could remember. (Yeah, pay phones…remember those? I didn’t. I had to call my calling card company and beg them to give me my code number again. I had the STUPIDEST question as my security question and couldn’t answer it to their satisfaction.)

So, that was my race day. The plane flights all functioned with surprising accuracy and I got into Philadelphia (I’m in Philli for a week to play with the Haddonfield Symphony) a few minutes before my planned arrival time and got to my Grandmother’s by 1:30 in the morning, exhausted…but happy.

Now…to make myself find a gym so I don’t forget how to swim and bike in the next week…

Monday, February 06, 2006

Race Pictures!

I'm working on a race report, but for now...just some pictures...full blow-by-blow of the day should be done later today.

Quickly, for those that are curious...We finished in 2:00:13, which I guess could be considered a bummer, but now we just have to do another one to knock off those 13 seconds!

More soon!

me and dad pre-race

the runners, before the race! (dad, me, and nel)

dad, me, and mom

just finished!

nel crossing the line

en route (mile .8)

nel with her medal!

crossing the line

me and dad afterwards

almost there!

nel crossed the line

nel coming towards the finish

nel, me, and dad...all finishers!

nel finished!

me and my dead phone

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Thanks, Liz...

For the pictures...I spaced out at the party and didn't take any...

It was a really fun party...it was nice to see everyone again, and in one space!

I've got to get to the airport now, so I'm out. I'm taking my computer, so you should get updates regularly (worst case, I hit up Starbucks, right?).

The goal for the Mardi Gras 1/2 is to just have fun with my dad, but the secret goal is that I'm going to try to make him break 2 hours...should be fun regardless!

Liz and I showing off our HUGE biceps

Byrce and Annie

The scene in the basement while watching Chicago Tri pics and video

'MoMo', Karen's oh-so-cute daughter (she's an amazing eater too...cool kid!)

Friday, February 03, 2006

My bathing suit is eating me.

Okay, so I've been avoiding writing about this because I'm trying to deny that it's even happening.

But, my bathing suit is definitely chowing down on my neck...it's so weird because this has never happened before. It started when I got a new suit, but now no matter what suit I wear, I still have this big hicky-looking thing on my neck that gets worse every time I swim. I'm sick of the comments, and I'm afraid of the people who aren't making comments and therefore make assumptions that I don't have a chance to refute. Not that I care if people think I have a huge hicky on my neck, but ya know...it's kind of silly, is all...

Anyone else ever have this problem? It kinda hurts too, by the way.

Errands, errands...and some more errands...

Yeah, so you know how I said I didn't have to do any errands yet because I had plenty of time until the 'deadline'? Well...said deadline is today and I'm going crazy. I've already been to the pool, the bank, and the grocery store and it's not even 10. Okay, I know so many of you get up at the crack of dawn, but this kind of early morning productivity is just not in my nature. I like to wake up without an alarm and kind of slowly pry my eyes open with some tea. But alas...this luxury was not in the cards this morning.

WHY DO I PROCRASTINATE???!

I still have to go to the pharmacy and the post office and make a million and 55 phone calls. Blech.

But! Party tonight! The Chicago tri team is having a reunion and I'm crashing it (I kind of just hung around the team even though I wasn't officially part of it)...don't know why I'm so excited about it, but I am. I'm making chocolate chip cookies...I make some killer cookies when I put my mind to it...

As a tribute to my beloved Arrested Development: "This party is going to be OFF THE HOOK!!"

Workouts have been going well lately...I managed a double on both Tuesday and Thursday, and swam on Wednesday and Friday. Tomorrow I'm just going to do a few miles to loosen up my legs for the half on Sunday. WOOHOOO!! I'm LEAVING ON A JET PLANE....PARTY IN NEW ORLEANS!!!!

Then, straight to Philadelphia, where I'll be playing with the Haddonfield Symphony for the next week. I should have decent internet access this time around, so hopefully I'll be able to keep posting...but should that not work out...I wholeheartedly apologize...I'll be back next Monday, for sure.

Hey! I'm playing with the Canton Symphony at the end of February--the concert is the 26th...it's an all Mozart Concert. If any of you Cleveland area kids want something fun to do on a Sunday night, you should come and hear the concert...we could go to coffee afterwards??

Alright. I have got to get going with this adult world busy work. I'll definitely post pictures of the party before I leave tomorrow...

Have a good day!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


Last Night's Garfield Reservation Run

me eating ice cream (LOTS of chocolate) during our 'lunch' break of the spinning certification last Saturday

Bum no more.

I got my act together! After convincing myself that I had mono and needed to sleep for the whole day, I decided to just get on the trainer for 40 minutes so that I could finish Wil and Kahuna's podcast I had started the night before.

Then I taught, and my student said I looked horrible, and I again started feeling very sorry for myself and again started thinking about how I must have caught mono from a student's flute...(one of my students DOES have mono and I really did play her flute last week...so I'm not just going crazy here...this is a possibility...)

But, I dragged myself to the Tuesday night run and managed 8+ pretty fast miles...and even had a good time while doing it. It's been a couple weeks since I felt really great running, so it was especially nice. Plus, it was fun to hang out with Liz again...it had been a while, which is mostly my fault, I'll admit. (I'm the one who didn't show to the Sunday run like a very, very bad friend.) I didn't wear a watch (I know, I know...it's hard to believe), so I have to wait for Liz to post the times, but I'm pretty sure we did everything significantly below 9 minutes per mile. I'm pumped for the half marathon on Sunday!

Today, I HAVE to go swimming...it's been way too long. I'm going to forget how pretty soon...

Other than swimming and a bit of teaching, I have a very easy day...as in...nothing. I've got to practice my butt off, of course, but I don't have anything structured...maybe I'll see if Ta and Jojo (my much neglected friends...yikes) want to go to a bookstore or maybe get a glass of wine tonight...? I also do have a bunch of errands I need to get done, but I HATE running errands. Like, it takes a hardcore deadline to get me to do them. And since the deadline is far from impending as of yet (by Friday, since I'm leaving on Saturday for the week), I think I'll put the unpleasantries off a bit more.

Oh! So, my cousin (David Strathairn) did indeed get nominated for Best Actor by the infamous Academy Awards! The movie he stars in (Good Night, and Good Luck) also got nominated for lots and lots of stuff...pretty cool, eh? I have a feeling it's going to be a Brokeback Mountain sweep, but it's still pretty awesome to even be nominated...is it okay to claim some of this awesomeness as my own? He's not even blood-related, so it's a little hard, but...someone blood-related did have the good sense to marry him...so maybe it's okay. I'll just have to prove my heredity by marrying someone who will do equally as well. Any suggestions? (Just kidding, Phil!)

I have lots of pictures coming...you just have to wait a little bit until I get them from Coach Kurt...meanwhile you just have to deal with my ramblings for a bit longer...

Okay, so just one last question to all you TNT bloggers. Where do you think the line is as far as how far to push TNTers to come to group activities? If they're training on their own, should you just leave well enough alone? Or do you consider it part of your mentoring job to try to push a little harder to get people to come to the group workouts, even if it isn't always perfectly convenient for everyone?

I'd really love some feedback on this, because I don't want to be seen as the 'workout police', but here's the way I see it: TNT is a unique opportunity in that you have a chance to be part of a team as an adult, and I really think that's one of the best aspects of the program. You meet new people, and become a part of something bigger than you are. So how to get people to see that without overwhelming them with TNT 'obligations'?