I'm considering bailing on the Philadelphia marathon. I know it's lame. I've already paid; I should just do it.
The thing is...I haven't done the training. And I just don't thing there is much of a point in going and suffering through a miserable 26.2m. I won't break 4 hours. Hell, I probably won't even beat my last time, when I was trying to run slowly.
I'm mad at myself. I'm mad that I haven't been consistent, and I'm mad that I'm thinking about not doing it, and I'm just mad in general. Mad as in pissed off, and also mad as in a little bit crazy.
But! Congrats to my friend Piper, a first time marathoner today...she finished Chicago in 4:49...paying absolutely no attention to an injury. And of course, more congratulations to everyone else out there running today.
Looking up people's times this afternoon reminded me of being there last year. I've come a long way since that 19m run and 7.2m ambulance ride. A lot of things have changed in a year...
I'll wait another couple of weeks to make an official decision about Philadelphia. Maybe I can still get a few good runs in and feel better about the whole thing...
8 comments:
Susanna, why don't you think just about doing it slowly and not worrying at all about the time. Just do it to do it, if you decide you feel like it. You might be able to train some more in the next couple of weeks and even if you have to walk some of it, you could do the distance. But, of course this opinion is coming from somebody that has never trained like you have. I just thought that sometimes it is good just to do something challenging for the sake of doing it--the process or journey--and not to worry about the end time or result or destination.
Of course the above comment came from your old mom-- not a runner!
oh susanna (i bet you never get tired of hearing that one -- admit it!)
we were just talking about it this weekend... 'The Last Ironman' or the death of the marathon.
for me, it's not about the race anymore, it's the hookup with friends and like-minded individuals... you are TOO fine to cross that finish line alone.
it's hard for you -- non? living in a new place without training partners and racing partners? it was for me when i first came to Boulder... as a matter of fact, it was depressing! but, as in everything in life, that too will change for you, it changed for me... n'est ce-pas?
you can do it - Danny will be there, and if I am not on call and can get out of the hospital I will be there (not that you know who I am :). Maybe you can switch to the half, i know it's not the same as doing the whole, but it's better than giving up all hope, no? good luck - rooting for ya.
I know where your coming from.. Over all it’s not the race, it’s the road you take to get there. Thus far I have opt-out of a 10 this last summer because of a training slump. It still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I do not think I will let it happen again.
If your looking for any ideas I would say too sit down and reevaluate your goal for this race. Maybe instead of looking for a new PR look to hit a set time, a run with no endurance trouble or a set time for a negative split and then use this as a benchmark to work away from for your next run.
Cheers.
Rice.
My old horn teacher helped me get my head on straight as a freshman with stage fright who went from being the best high school horn player in the state to the worst college horn player in the studio. He told me, in essence that it is OK to be dissatisfied or angry with yourself--but only if it is the fuel that motivates you and points you to where you want to go, and not the fuel for torching yourself.
Where you are is not where you have to remain.
:-(
i understand your feelings, but i think some of the options mentioned already are worth considering. namely, to either run it slowly and chalk it up as another part of training, or to swtich to the half and make it more of a race. either way, i do hope you'll come out there - it would be nice to meet you.
you know, i believe your "race recap" from last year was the first post i ever read on your blog. hard to believe it's only been 1 year. (uh, can you say ironman?!)
dude. thanks for the shout out, first of all. second of all, you have to make the decision based on what you feel you need right now. if you need to let yourself off the hook for this, i say rock out. there is a certain joy in lowering that ridiculous bar we always set for ourselves (especially because we really NEVER lower it). there is certainly NO shame in that. but if what you need is to feel a sense of completion or accomplishment, i say do it. because honestly it is not about your time - just being there will make you feel like a million bucks. and whether you're sprinting, limping, or crawling across the finish line, you will feel good about what you achieved, in whatever amount of time it took.
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