I need some of it, just to be able to breathe.
I will come back, eventually. I just need some time and space. Right now I feel like there is so much pain wrapped up in this little space of mine that I can't breathe when I open a new page; I can't stand to post or not-post and it seems like escape is the only route out.
But of course, that isn't how life works. I promise to come back when I'm ready. I don't know how long that'll take (I sure as hell wish I did), but I'm sure it'll happen soon enough.
I just need a new perspective, a new vision of how things are (instead of how they should have been).
Thank you to everyone for your nice words and for putting up with me. I feel pathetic much of the time; that's another reason for the need-to-leave...I don't want to keep whining, but I don't know what else to say.
And as everyone's mother used to say..."If you don't have anything nice to say, well...shut your trap."
So, I'm choosing to shut that proverbial trap for the time being. It'll open soon enough; I've got to eat at some point, afterall...
14 comments:
Su, we all need time and space, more at some times than others. Like Grey said, the links to the blog will stay up and we'll keep checking in.
Just like training, other things in life need rest days, recovery weeks, and "off seasons." Take the time you need, and remember that the entire TBC is there to support you if and when you need it.
Su you are too cute. You'll pull through I am sure. Sorry I missed your call. Work blah blah time with David blah blah. Hopefully I can call you after track tonight.
Hope things get much better, very soon...
Sincerely.
Mark
And when you do open your mouth to eat make sure you savor every bite. Life is to be enjoyed to its fullest. Thank God it's a new day. Every day we wake up is a new beginning.
We are here for you, and will be here when you return. Neither the miles nor the digital medium of our connections can disguise the gem that is you--a gem worth wating and working for.
This, too, shall pass.
Hang in there.
Su- sometimes brevity gives clarity. but i agree with what someone said earlier about having a support system. if not via blogland, then on the phone, in coffee shops, for long week-ends, at thrift stores, keep your friends close during your time of searching.
i knew an old lady once who was an amazing jazz pianist. she had made a fortune from it. she said to me, "playing the piano is the most self-defeating thing i do."
i feel the same way about writing.
yet, i believe that it's the things that we are meant to do that don't come easy to us.
from what little i know of you via your writing, playing the flute in one way or another, it's who you are.
be well.
Is this because I have not posted in two weeks? I'm only taking a few weeks off of posting, I'll be back!!!
All kidding aside, I hope whatever chaos is going on with you right now settles down and life (and you) returns back to normal so we can continue to enjoy your adventures on this blog.
Hang in there Su, chin up.
Ah Curly Su ~
So sorry to hear you're going through tough times. Life is hard. And if you're anything like me, you're probably being far too tough on yourself. You are an awesome & amazing person. You're an IRON WOMAN! An artist. A musician. A great writer. A good friend to many. You're one~of~a~kind, and deserve to be loved, ESPECIALLY by yourself. After we moved here, it took me a whole year before I felt my depression lift and feel at home. Hang in there darlin. Best of luck to you.
i hope you're well, i haven't checked in here for a while and was so sad to see youre going through a rough patch. take care of yourself, and know we're missing ya!
Just checking in to see how things were going.. hang in there.
Cheers.
Rice.
Hey, Curly-Su. Thanks for the comment on my blog this morning. I had never thought about it, but like you, I was also first in last out of the practice rooms. I guess I bring that to most of what I do.
Hope you are making it allright. Every time I see one of your comments on my blog or anywhere else, my big-brotherly heart skips a beat, hoping you are soon to rejoin us. **hug**
wow su.
just wow.
my guts are hollow for never having read your blog before today.
i just, it's like i just stuck my head out my car window and got
whacked by a 2x4.
there is life outside of me and so much of it and so much of it love and have loved and should be still loving.
ie: i miss you. and you're incredible.
and you've been here the whole time.
i'm heading home too. i don't think you're there anymore, but..feeling you.
hope you're hanging in there, cause that's all it'll take and you'll be back on top of everything soon enough,
and i probably won't call you till i'm in the car on my way home, but all i'd talk about right now is boys anyway and blgh. right.
love and miss.
kim
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