The times, they are a changin'...or...To Run or Not To Run

I'm going to New Jersey this weekend to look for apartments. The original plan was to get an August 1 rental and live with friends this summer since I'll be in Europe for 3 weeks anyway...so I was going to put all my stuff in storage for the summer and live out of a bag until August 1.

But then I realized that doing that would mean that I had to move twice instead of just once. I would have to rent a U-Haul twice, get my friends to help me twice (because I definitely can't do this alone...for one thing, my bed was assembled in my room and I have no idea how to even begin to get it out...and that's just one example of my complete ineptitude when it comes to moving)...plus, living out of a bag for the entire summer is just kind of unreasonable...as is expecting friends to put me up for weeks at a time.

So. I'm going to try to get a June 1 apartment in New Jersey. I'm a little late on this. Most people that I've contacted about apartments that look reasonable tell me that the apartment is already taken. I have a few leads though, so hopefully something will look decent this weekend.

But really, none of this concerns me. I'll find a place. I guess the sudden decision to get out of dodge is a good one in that it puts a stop to all this transition crap and will allow me to get settled in my new environment relatively soon. So, that's good...right? So how come I'm not happier about it? I'm scared out of my mind and am prone to daily panic attacks which then lead to sleeping the afternoon away. Not so good.

It's been too much change lately. I have no more foundation. As I was recently telling some friends, I feel like my foundation has been dug up, turned upside down, put on top of my head (in order to squeeze my brain out), and then thrown into another country. I have no idea which country...but somehow I have to figure it out.

So I'll be gone Friday and Saturday to look at apartments. Sunday is the Cleveland Marathon, for which I am very much not prepared. As in...I haven't run more than 13.1 miles since training for Chicago in the fall. Overall though, I'm very strong right now, and I really feel like I would be fine just doing it to run it slowly. Doing it to get used to running 11 minute miles, and doing it to get used to running for that length of time again...but most importantly, doing it to know that I've conquered the distance before and can do it again.

So, I know it sounds crazy to try to run a marathon that I haven't trained for. But, I'm looking at it like this...I'm not racing it...I'm just getting through it, it'll be a confidence booster like last weekend on the bike. If I can do that (and I could!), then I can do this. It's just a long training run, and even though I haven't built myself up with running milage, I still think I'm strong enough to get through it in good shape as long as I pace myself intelligently and just keep it slow and steady...like I'm going to have to do it in Nice.