I really can't stand the range of emotions I feel on a daily basis. I want some stability, just a little freaking bit of time when I don't go back and forth between being pseudo-depressed and obscenely elated.And why can't I control these extremes? Why can't I say...you have nothing to be upset about...and...just calm down and do the things you need to do. It's like a freaking roller coaster in Curly-Su Land these days and I'm sick of it.
Little things shouldn't set me off, and I shouldn't get overwhelmed when I make a simple to-do list. Okay, being overwhelmed is natural...but being overwhelmed to the point of immobility and then sleeping the afternoon away is not normal or natural and it's got to stop.
So, I'm done with it. As a certain president once said, Return to Normalcy.
[Sidenote: Trivia bit for the day...anyone know whose campaign slogan that was? And, did you know that normalcy wasn't a word beforehand? The word is/was normality. Thanks, Mr. Pfefferkorn for teaching me the little things that really matter...]
So, now I'm going for a run so that I can cross that off my list. Then, I'm going to work on some stuff for my recital (who would have thought a simple fundraiser recital would turn into such an ordeal?)...and then perhaps I'll feel more in control and I'll be able to practice a bit. My problem tends to be that I can't concentrate in the practice room when I have a million other things that I need to take care of running through my head.
I tried keeping a marker board in the practice room to write down the things I needed to do...the idea being that after writing down what I was obsessing about, I could stop thinking about it until after I practiced...and that works, usually...but lately it's just been a whole new level of scatterbrained-ness. 10 minutes of practicing and I'm out of the room doing something else, and then all of a sudden I 'wake up' and realize what I'm doing and get all frustrated and berate myself and go back into my practice room and start to practice and everything is okay for about 10 more minutes and then the ridiculous cycle starts all over. ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!
Okay. Enough. Everyone has these times of inefficiency...right? And maybe it'll be like my practice room marker board...now that I've written it down, I'll be able to get things done without going through a complete range of emotions with every task. Cross your fingers for me, because right now...it's kind of obnoxious to be me, and I'm sorry to say it's probably even more obnoxious to be around me.
11 comments:
You are starting to sound like Wil. :-)
Relax.
Know that ultimately everything is going to be okay, because well, it always has hasn't it?
Warren G. Harding. What do I win??
Relax. We all get crazy from time to time.
Damn! Flatman beat me to it. What if I add that Harding gambled away White House china in a poker game? :)
what if i add 'i had no idea'... i'm an almost american, and full-time canadian... i'm bad with presidents even if they read my blog.
honestly CSu, i think everyone has THOSE days... for me, it happens when i keep adding balls in the air, finally it's just easier to let them all fall to the ground... and just stare at them a bit... then pick them up, and get goin'.
i'm feelin' that right now. i like change, change is good. but, i like some stability -- to appreciate the changes!
hang in there, bold.
well at least if you realize that you feel nuts, you're probably not as nuts as you think you are.
i agree with you that a list is the way to go. if it helps, make a short term list and a long term list. then get all the short term ones out of the way.
take a few deep breaths. tell yourself it's ok to feel overwhelmed. and then start tackling that list - one at a time.
i know how you feel...dare i suggest...practicing at school? i know, yuck, but sometimes it's the only thing that makes me focus.
funny, are we riding on the same loopidity loop rollercoaster? i try to make a to-do list as well, but the post-it notes at my desk are turning into mile long flags...deep breaths....and some icecream wouldnt hurt! :)
I'm going through it right now. many things on my list and must focus to check them off.
Stay on it Su, you will be fine.
Well I think feeling a little out of sorts is a good thing because it often times it means that we are trying to do a lot with our lives!
girl i feel ya. getting it all out probably helps though. sometimes just realizing that things are a mess, instead of just slodging thru it all, helps in getting re-focused.
so. stay strong, the storm'll all blow over soon enough!
This is a little quote I am reminded of: "and this too shall pass"!
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