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Monday, October 31, 2005

up and at 'em again

my computer spontaneously revived itself. i'm still going to make them replace the modem though, because it did this last week too...

i had the day off of work today and got so much done...so nice to have an unexpected holiday. i practiced, went swimming, and even started folding the mass quantities of clothes that are on my floor.

i fixed up the tri-blog some and also my one for training. i can't believe i'm so blog-crazy now, when just 6 months ago i didn't even have 1, let alone 5! this might be concieved as cheese-mageese, but i really think blogs are changing the way the world operates and perceives. blogs are quoted in the news, in magazines, even on tv. plus, they've given people such an outlet--on both ends. being able to read what other people think, and telling the world what you think--equally important, and so easy now. it's amazing, really.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

my internet doesn't work again

and this time I paid!

Supposedly it's a bad modem and they'll come by to give me another one...but not until Wednesday...while I'm working. if I want them to come when I'm actually home and can consequently let them in, I have to wait until Friday. grrrrr...

Meanwhile, I'm paying $2/day. Somehow this doesn't seem right.

So, sorry but the posts will be less frequent for a while since I'll have to be relying on internet at friend's houses and work.

Hope everyone had a great weekend. It's been out-of-this-world gorgeous here lately. I went for a bike ride today, even! I only did about 13 miles, but it was enough to remind me that i'm going to have my work cut out for me if i'm going to survive this half-ironman. I managed not to fall, which was definitely an achievement, and even mantained a decent pace...despite my forgetting my pump and therefore being unable to top off the tires. I rode in pancake-flat territory though, and of course Wildflower is anything but flat. But here's the good news as I see it: What goes up...must come down. And so even if I get pathetically slow up the hills, I'll always have the downside coming up soon...even on "Nasty Grade".

Here's what I'm thinking for the Half. Let me know if it sounds not-feasible. I think I can finish under 6 hours. I'd like to do the 1.2m swim in 30minutes or less, but that might be pushing it. So, maybe 35 minutes for the swim. Then, the 13.1m run will take about 2 hours. So, that leaves 3 hours and 25 minutes for the bike and transitions. Take off 10 minutes for transitions, although they really shouldn't take anywhere near that long...but that'll give me leeway for the run. So...that means 3 hours and 15 minutes for a 56m bike, which turns into 17.2mph. I think I should be able to do that. I can't now, especially not on hills, but I think I will be able to by next May. I'm going to start now (even though Coach has yet to give us our schedules) with just getting my base back up. I'm good running-wise, but my biking and swimming has been non-existent. So, I'm going to start swimming twice a week, and biking at least once, preferable twice (even if it means having to go to a spinning class because of the ever-lowering temperature). I'm also going to lift weights at least twice a week. That way by the time I get my 'official' schedule in December, I'll hopefully be back to where I left off in June (before I started marathon training).

That just leaves one thing...I'd REALLY like to do the Mardi Gras Marathon in February. I want to prove to myself that I can, in fact, run a marathon...but more importantly, I want to do something to help the Katrina victims (the proceeds of that race are going to help the rebuilding efforts). My dad and I are definitely going to run the half together, but if possible, I want to run the whole thing. I realize it's not necessary, and it'll be hard to train for both. But. At this point I don't really care about finishing under 4 hours anymore. I just want to finish the damn thing. So, if I just take it 'easy' with my dad for the first 13.1, I just want to be strong enough to finish it, even if it takes me 4 1/2 hours. It would be so much easier if I could convince my dad to run the whole thing with me, eh? He runs 10m a day, every day right now, so he could TOTALLY do it, but he just doesn't want to...and I guess trying to force him just to make my life easier isn't really fair, right?

Anyway. Those are my athletic goals for this year. I can't believe I have 'athletic goals'. Totally weird for me...kind of nice though.

It feels good to write it all down...makes it feel like it might actually happen.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

So I've officially been running for a year...

This morning I ran the Bench Bar Halloween 5m race with Liz for the second year in a row. I'm happy to say that I have, in fact, improved over the past year. Last year my time was 47:?? and this year I ran a 41:46, an 8:21/m pace. That's pretty good for me regardless, and I've definitely been slacking lately (I felt the extra 2 pounds when running, for sure)...so, I was happy.

I got second place in my age group. I love little races--they make me feel like a superstar! :)

They didn't want the awards to take forever, so they didn't call out the 2nd and 3rd place winners in each age group, much to the grumbling chagrin of me and the people around me. They had, afterall, said there would be winners for the top 3 on the form we signed...people were getting ready to sue, I swear...which would have just been hilarious considering the race was a benefit for the Bar Association (because lawyers need more money, right?). Luckily for them, however; they handed out the other awards later to people who came up to get them...so I have the picture of me without and then with my stellar prize: yet another plastic shoe bag.

It was a really fun, relaxed race. I'm glad I went...I definitely needed something to jump start my lazy butt.

And, in defense of my having supported the lawyers...I was told that the race was to benefit pro-bono cases--nothing wrong with that! (That is, afterall, what I would be begging for should I get into some kind of trouble that would necessitate me having a lawyer...)

It's a beautiful day outside, so I'm going to go walk my newly shaven poodle. She's prancing around like she's the queen of the universe and just needs to go outside to be discovered. She's a poodle, through and through...
my nipples hurt!
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no prizes for 2nd place winners, afterall. :(
(i was supposed to be frowning, but somehow it just didn't happen...)
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finally! we got our prizes!
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an extra-small girl in an extra-large shirt
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Thursday, October 27, 2005

a better day

Thanks to all of you who offered words of wisdom and support when I was feeling crappy.

I feel much better now; I had a good night of sleep and the morning off to catch up on things I needed to have been doing all week.

The Team in Training Kick-Off was tonight. It was fun, albiet exhausting. I helped set up all day...we left the TNT office at 2:30 and I just got home...it's 11:30. I'm glad I helped...it's always good to see how much effort goes into an event like that. Again, I'm just so happy to be part of such a wonderful organization. It makes me feel like a decent person, and there really isn't any substitute for that feeling.

Now to get started with my fundraising this time around. argh.

I've been feeling so trapped lately, but I'm realizing it's not the fault of anyone but myself. i need to figure out what i want...and then I can go after it. This feeling of being lost is because I just don't know at the moment where I'm headed, and that's such a scary feeling for me. I know there can be a lot of joy and excitement in the process of all this, but my type A personality is just not made for it. I want to know where I'm going, and then find the quickest way there. So, my misery lately has been because I can't even attempt to find a path when I don't know the destination.

Okay. Enough...it's getting corny.
I need to go to sleep. FRIDAY is here!!!!
She's a poodle afterall!
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Baruch's new haircut
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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

the leaves are changing colors

but the sky is continually grey.

i don't know how much longer i can deal with the non-stop clouds...and it's only october. every year i think it's going to be my last cleveland-winter, but somehow i end up back here, suffering through yet another frigid 8 month winter.

i'm a southern girl; i need the sun.


i quit being a vegetarian. i'm bummed out about it, but i wasn't eating properly and just wasn't feeling well in general. maybe someday i'll be able to stick it out...i really am a vegetarian at heart.

i feel not quite all there recently. i can't keep up with what i need to be doing. i'm not making time for the things i want to be doing, and it seems as though everything i'm doing is painful in one way or another.

i love running with people, and i had a great time going out last night. but, i probably should have stayed at home, practiced, and kept my dog company. i know i can't do that every night, but i need to start doing it SOME nights. i don't know where my motivation went. everything seems a bit black lately.

i miss phil. i'm jealous of him too. why does everything work out for him? i'm happy for him, but it makes me a bit bitter too...and then i feel badly that i'm jealous of my own boyfriend...isn't that a little weird?

i just want some success...it's been too long. i know this is overly dramatic, but i feel like nothing has gone the proverbial 'my way' in such an extensive amount of time.

i'm a generally happy person, and i don't need lots of money to feel good about myself. but sometimes i just feel so STUPID for putting myself in this situation. i could have gone into anything...and i chose something destined for torture. i'm tired of it. i want to feel good about myself and where my life is going, but i feel so out of control.

i know it's dumb to feel alone, lonely. i am perfectly aware that there are lots of people who care about me. but, i can't help but be crushed everytime someone who said they would call...just doesn't. it makes me feel like i'm in middle school again, and i hate it. i love my friends, and i know that it takes effort on both sides (and perhaps i haven't made enough effort with some lately)...but do these insecurities ever end?
liz and i after the run
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i guess i'm not a vegetarian anymore...
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me and kurt
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brian and i checking out another table
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Monday, October 24, 2005

Reunion Pics

Here are my pictures from the weekend. There are so many! I'm going to make a scrapbook of the weekend for my Grandmother's birthday present, so I kind of went a bit snap-happy in hopes that everyone would be adequately represented. Now I just have to wait for my dad's pictures so that I can get some of ME!

I wish I was kidding.

I know family pictures can be boring to non-family members, so I understand a lack of interest. I promise to return to the keyboard soon.

In the meantime, I know my family will enjoy seeing these, at least!
Daddy laughing
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Jesse relaxing
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Goofy Jesse
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Daniel and Louise
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Birthday Girl
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Rocky
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Uncle Daniel
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Paul
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scooping up a caterpillar

grandma and her kids

the group

the group walking

misha, eva, and grandma

runaways being brought back to the group against their wishes

daddy

daddy packing the car

smiling misha

gorgeous louise

everybody walking to the lake

jesse looking at the caterpillar

the puzzle is solved!

grandma and inlaws--billy, grandma, miae, and louise

jesse with caterpillar

cute jesse

the scene on the porch

daniel and louise

misha looking at the fireside songbook while eva sings and grandma watches