Just finished practicing for the day, and definitely feel like I could use a beer. Practicing is very hard work; no wonder I avoid it. :)
I'm going to Philadelphia tomorrow to have a lesson with Khaner. I feel pretty ready, although I'm sure I'll get my butt kicked anyway. I guess that's kind of the point though.
Thank you all for the encouraging words after my last blog entry. People sent an outpouring of emails and hello messages. Don't worry, guys--it wasn't any one specific person or comment. Just a general feeling that I'm spending too much of my time fighting hurt feelings. I've been feeling like I'm in middle school again, which is kind of silly, considering I'm now 23. So, really I was talking about how I need to fix myself, not criticizing any one person. But...it's nice to know I'm loved, all the same. Thanks.
Due to an email conversation with a dear friend, I've been thinking about how so much of the population spends the majority of their life behind a desk or working in some environment that they don't enjoy. I can't even partially imagine it, and that makes me feel really guilty. Who am I to think I'm special enough to avoid what everyone else has to do? I know there is a give and take relationship--if you work, you have a sense of security and you (hopefully!) ultimately have more means to do what you want to do in the long run. Whereas if you do what I do, and just work enough to scrape by, then you don't have the stability, but you do have your time. For now, I'm happy with my decision. Of course that may change as I 'grow up' and have a family, but for now, I know I would go crazy having to work for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week--and I'm happy that I'm able to manage the way I am. The dream, of course, would be to be able to support yourself fully by doing what you want (in my case, playing in an orchestra), but meanwhile I just have to make sure I remember that I did in fact make a choice...I could be making more money if that was my goal. SO...I'm going to attempt to curb the complaining about money for the time being. It's not really fair to complain about something you have control over, right?
And to all you workers out there--it's your choice too. If you want to work all day, I applaud you, because I know it would be really hard for me. But, if you want your time back...RUN FOR THE DOOR...enjoy the sunshine.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
wish i knew what i was doing
So, I've been trying to make my website entirely functional, and I feel like (aside from making the sound byte of me playing), it's pretty much there. Thing is, I can't get Google to search it. I've been reading about meta tags and the like, and now Yahoo finds it, but considering the over-popularity of Google, that's not going to help much. Any advice out there??
I've been having over-sensitivity issues lately...getting upset when people say the littlest thing. I guess I just feel like I don't really make rude comments to others, so why are they making them to me? So then I get on this whole superiority kick and get all upset about the state of the world and it's all really dumb. I'm not perfect either and I know I hurt people's feelings without meaning to, but sometimes I just feel like certain people just spit out whatever they want without thinking. There needs to be some kind of filter between brain and mouth, I truly believe. No one wants to hear everything you're thinking. It's boring and honestly, not really appropriate. I think what I need to work on is just being able to let stupid comments from stupid people roll off me a bit more instead of getting upset or mad about it, because it really is wasted energy. Easier said than done though, as most things are.
Today I'm going to practice a whole hell of a lot. I'm getting back from work and getting started. I don't have anything scheduled for the rest of the day, which can make it harder to organize myself time-wise, but I'm just going to have to buckle down...no excuses about not having enough time today!
I've been having over-sensitivity issues lately...getting upset when people say the littlest thing. I guess I just feel like I don't really make rude comments to others, so why are they making them to me? So then I get on this whole superiority kick and get all upset about the state of the world and it's all really dumb. I'm not perfect either and I know I hurt people's feelings without meaning to, but sometimes I just feel like certain people just spit out whatever they want without thinking. There needs to be some kind of filter between brain and mouth, I truly believe. No one wants to hear everything you're thinking. It's boring and honestly, not really appropriate. I think what I need to work on is just being able to let stupid comments from stupid people roll off me a bit more instead of getting upset or mad about it, because it really is wasted energy. Easier said than done though, as most things are.
Today I'm going to practice a whole hell of a lot. I'm getting back from work and getting started. I don't have anything scheduled for the rest of the day, which can make it harder to organize myself time-wise, but I'm just going to have to buckle down...no excuses about not having enough time today!
Monday, September 26, 2005
So I'm a Socialist??
| You are a Social Liberal (80% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (10% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid |
wow...never thought i was that far on the outside of things. it's very important to assume these little online tests are 100% correct, by the way. how else can you figure out what you REALLY think?
Saturday, September 24, 2005
before+after
I think
it's time
to clean the kitchen...........................................................................
Thank G-d
there's an 'after'.Friday, September 23, 2005
sirens are calling me
looking, desperately searching for a long lost poem. it used to be tacked above my computer. somehow that became too personal when the communal office space was introduced and i put it somewhere. i've seen it recently.
i think.
i didn't throw it away, so it's somewhere in this toosmallwhenyouwantspace toobigwhenyouarelookingforsomething apartment. searching for it, i've found so much other memorabilia that i get lost in times from past years and seem to let my days slip into the vastness/innocence of being younger.
i need this poem. i remember parts, but not enough to identify it. it was next to me, staring at me for 5 years and still-- i don't remember the author or exact wording...how? somehow that illusiveness was exactly what made me understand it in my spine every time i even glanced its way.
dear reader
why don't you write you never write
each day i check the mail
nothing but christmas cards and truss seals
i brush my teeth blood drips down my chin
?
i think.
i didn't throw it away, so it's somewhere in this toosmallwhenyouwantspace toobigwhenyouarelookingforsomething apartment. searching for it, i've found so much other memorabilia that i get lost in times from past years and seem to let my days slip into the vastness/innocence of being younger.
i need this poem. i remember parts, but not enough to identify it. it was next to me, staring at me for 5 years and still-- i don't remember the author or exact wording...how? somehow that illusiveness was exactly what made me understand it in my spine every time i even glanced its way.
dear reader
why don't you write you never write
each day i check the mail
nothing but christmas cards and truss seals
i brush my teeth blood drips down my chin
?
small successes...
Today I found out that I got on the sublist for both the Canton and Haddonfield Symphony. Canton didn't have any openings, so that was the best I could have done. Haddonfield had 2 openings, so it would have been (much!) better if I had actually gotten a contract, but I suppose being a substitute is better than nothing. I just hope they have need to call...not that I'm hoping anyone gets sick or drops dead or anything...nope, not at all...
My shins are kind of bothering me again. I'm going to try an easy run tomorrow to see how it goes. I might duck out of the 20m a couple miles shy if they're really bothering me. I'm confident I'm strong enough to suffer through the marathon regardless of whether or not one more 20m run happens...and really, what's the difference between 18 and 20? But of course, I'll probably end up doing the whole 20. I'm too stubborn not to unless it's really necessary...
Tomorrow is another empty day, and I'm once again ecstatic to have nothing to do. I'm going to do some laundry, practice, read! (some Steinbeck non-fiction--totally great stuff...completely applicable now even though it was written during the Depression Era), and most importantly...play with my dog. Sunday begins another week of complete and total mayhem (trip back to Philadelphia before I know it), so I'm going to enjoy tomorrow as much as humanly possible.
I think I might try to get my old 35mm camera working again. I miss it, and I've been inspired by all these cool photos on other people's blogs. Somehow I can't seem to think creatively with a digital camera, but maybe I'll have to learn to get over that...it's 2005, right?
My shins are kind of bothering me again. I'm going to try an easy run tomorrow to see how it goes. I might duck out of the 20m a couple miles shy if they're really bothering me. I'm confident I'm strong enough to suffer through the marathon regardless of whether or not one more 20m run happens...and really, what's the difference between 18 and 20? But of course, I'll probably end up doing the whole 20. I'm too stubborn not to unless it's really necessary...
Tomorrow is another empty day, and I'm once again ecstatic to have nothing to do. I'm going to do some laundry, practice, read! (some Steinbeck non-fiction--totally great stuff...completely applicable now even though it was written during the Depression Era), and most importantly...play with my dog. Sunday begins another week of complete and total mayhem (trip back to Philadelphia before I know it), so I'm going to enjoy tomorrow as much as humanly possible.
I think I might try to get my old 35mm camera working again. I miss it, and I've been inspired by all these cool photos on other people's blogs. Somehow I can't seem to think creatively with a digital camera, but maybe I'll have to learn to get over that...it's 2005, right?
Thursday, September 22, 2005
??
I went to a Team in Training Mentor meeting tonight. It was a lot of fun, despite the public speaking. Ice-breakers petrify me. I hate waiting while everyone else talks and makes people laugh...and then I have to talk and my voice sounds funny and I don't have anything functional to say and I kind of want to vomit. It's weird since I really like performing on the flute...but I guess I'm relatively confident of my flutistic abilities...public speaking, not so much...guess my dreams of becoming a lawyer if the flute stuff doesn't work out are pretty much shot, eh?
Anyway, I hope Mentoring works out. I'd really like to help out with Wildflower. Triathlons are so much fun, and I think I could help all the new people out since I had never run more than a mile at the beginning of last summer...so I totally know what it's like to be out of shape and feel like you won't ever be able to do anything more.
Tomorrow AND Saturday, I have the day off. No work of any kind. I'm hoping to run 10m tomorrow and get back into practicing, but otherwise am completely free. It's my first day to sleep in in WAY too long (it's been weeks, which is just not the norm for me), and I'm so excited to just have the day to myself.
Anyway, I hope Mentoring works out. I'd really like to help out with Wildflower. Triathlons are so much fun, and I think I could help all the new people out since I had never run more than a mile at the beginning of last summer...so I totally know what it's like to be out of shape and feel like you won't ever be able to do anything more.
Tomorrow AND Saturday, I have the day off. No work of any kind. I'm hoping to run 10m tomorrow and get back into practicing, but otherwise am completely free. It's my first day to sleep in in WAY too long (it's been weeks, which is just not the norm for me), and I'm so excited to just have the day to myself.
Monday, September 19, 2005
here we go
Okay, time to suck it up and just attempt to write about by ordinary little life. I have a beer in my hand, so perhaps that'll help.
This past week has been insanely exhausting. To Philli and back in 48 hours, 3 auditions in 72 hours (played my best in all of them...still awaiting the results of 2), working, and had to fit in a 20 mile run on Sunday. I'm surprised I held up...usually I collapse in such situations and just sleep through everything I was supposed to be doing.
Here's what I have to say about auditions. They need to be documented, so that 'normal' (non-classical musician) people can even partially understand what they're like. To all you movie makers out there: Here's the next "Spelling Bee" movie. The preparation, the people you run into, the way it's all run, the ridiculous amounts of tension radiating throughout the building...it's unlike anything else, and all total movie material. Seriously. Take it and run. I'll be your star.
Okay, I just spilled beer all over my computer. I'm a freaking lightweight. Half a beer and I'm through. Ridiculous.
Okay, crisis fixed. Paper towels to the rescue. Luckily, the keys were saved...they're already sticky from cereal incidents.
So. It was really nice to see my grandmother in Philadelphia. She's so relaxed...gave each of us keys so we can come and go as we please. She didn't care about us practicing until late in the night or early in the morning and just gave us our space. She just wants a quick call if we're coming so that she knows. She's awesome. I have so many relatives in Philadelphia, and I'm sure I would love to stay with any of them, but when going for 'work', my grandmother is the perfect choice. She doesn't mind the lack of pleasantries and just lets us do our own thing. It'll be nice to see more of her this year. One of my big regrets is that I didn't spend more time with her when I lived in Philadelphia for a year with my grandfather (although I am infinitely grateful that I had that time with him before he died).
The 20 mile run went relatively smoothly, although I definitely could have used a Gu or two. I was slower than I wanted, but I wasn't stopping my watch when we took water breaks, so I should have known it would be slower than usual.
Liz and David are here. More later.
This past week has been insanely exhausting. To Philli and back in 48 hours, 3 auditions in 72 hours (played my best in all of them...still awaiting the results of 2), working, and had to fit in a 20 mile run on Sunday. I'm surprised I held up...usually I collapse in such situations and just sleep through everything I was supposed to be doing.
Here's what I have to say about auditions. They need to be documented, so that 'normal' (non-classical musician) people can even partially understand what they're like. To all you movie makers out there: Here's the next "Spelling Bee" movie. The preparation, the people you run into, the way it's all run, the ridiculous amounts of tension radiating throughout the building...it's unlike anything else, and all total movie material. Seriously. Take it and run. I'll be your star.
Okay, I just spilled beer all over my computer. I'm a freaking lightweight. Half a beer and I'm through. Ridiculous.
Okay, crisis fixed. Paper towels to the rescue. Luckily, the keys were saved...they're already sticky from cereal incidents.
So. It was really nice to see my grandmother in Philadelphia. She's so relaxed...gave each of us keys so we can come and go as we please. She didn't care about us practicing until late in the night or early in the morning and just gave us our space. She just wants a quick call if we're coming so that she knows. She's awesome. I have so many relatives in Philadelphia, and I'm sure I would love to stay with any of them, but when going for 'work', my grandmother is the perfect choice. She doesn't mind the lack of pleasantries and just lets us do our own thing. It'll be nice to see more of her this year. One of my big regrets is that I didn't spend more time with her when I lived in Philadelphia for a year with my grandfather (although I am infinitely grateful that I had that time with him before he died).
The 20 mile run went relatively smoothly, although I definitely could have used a Gu or two. I was slower than I wanted, but I wasn't stopping my watch when we took water breaks, so I should have known it would be slower than usual.
Liz and David are here. More later.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
muse, where are you?
I'm sorry for the lack of posts lately. I've been so ridiculously busy (definite chicken-head with it's body cut off), and just too tired to write when I get home. Plus, things just feel a little too mundane (picture-less, even) to be made into some kind of special event on the grand ole internet.
I just got back from a 48 hour trip to Philadelphia. I had a good audition. Results still to be determined, but regardless I can take pride in playing well and having a committee actually ask for MORE (very good feeling when you're used to hearing 'thank you' halfway through the round...)
More details later. I need to get to sleep. Tomorrow is another stupidly busy day. Things should chill out by the end of next week. arghhhh
I just got back from a 48 hour trip to Philadelphia. I had a good audition. Results still to be determined, but regardless I can take pride in playing well and having a committee actually ask for MORE (very good feeling when you're used to hearing 'thank you' halfway through the round...)
More details later. I need to get to sleep. Tomorrow is another stupidly busy day. Things should chill out by the end of next week. arghhhh
Sunday, September 11, 2005
i thought i had it in me
Today was my first official half marathon...I had a good time running, surprisingly. I felt really strong the whole time (okay, so the last mile kind of hurt), and it was a completely beautiful day and a great course to run. I was happy with how I did as well, so that was nice... (full report on this could be a farce)
Phil came to try to see me at the finish line, but somehow we missed each other. Total bummer, because he drove more than an hour and then waited for an hour and a half...meanwhile, I was just wandering around, looking for him. I was sad to have missed him, but more I just felt horrible that he wasted his morning. At least Baruch got a trip to the metroparks out of it...
I came back and had to teach a bit, and then practiced functionally for the first time since Louisville, which felt good. (Do I Really Want to Know?)
I guess I thought I had more to say, but somehow words are just escaping me. I'm exhausted and I'd rather be reading in bed than staring at a computer screen. Kind of a nice feeling, actually.
Phil came to try to see me at the finish line, but somehow we missed each other. Total bummer, because he drove more than an hour and then waited for an hour and a half...meanwhile, I was just wandering around, looking for him. I was sad to have missed him, but more I just felt horrible that he wasted his morning. At least Baruch got a trip to the metroparks out of it...
I came back and had to teach a bit, and then practiced functionally for the first time since Louisville, which felt good. (Do I Really Want to Know?)
I guess I thought I had more to say, but somehow words are just escaping me. I'm exhausted and I'd rather be reading in bed than staring at a computer screen. Kind of a nice feeling, actually.
Friday, September 09, 2005
home sweet home
Today was the most beautiful day I've ever seen. Running was awesome, but I think anything outside would have been hard to ruin. It's the kind of day that you just want to hold on to, but you constantly have this small twinge of sadness because you know you can't.
Today I finally got ahold of a song that I had been looking for for YEARS...literally, since freshman year in college. I couldn't remember the artist or name of the song, and only remembered a twisted, tone-deaf version of one line. I'm embarrassed to say what it is, but I guess embarrassment isn't that big of a deal...my face is red on a daily basis for one reason or another.
So...Velvet Underground...Perfect Day. Pretty appropriate that I found it on the most beautiful day of the year.
We cleaned our apartment tonight, and I once again love where I live. It's crazy how much I put off 2 hours of work...it really wasn't that big of a deal, and I'm so much more comfortable now. Stepping around dustballs and rationalizing reusing dirty dishes is just disgusting.
At dinner, we ran into the new principal oboe player of the Cleveland Orchestra, which is only funny or notable because we were joking about it the other night. I went to Interlochen with him in '96 (HUGE crush...), and then CIM for my first couple of years (huge crush on his best friend). It was good to see him and realize (once again!) that people who win big jobs are not necessarily super heros... rock stars for sure, but they don't all posess super powers...
Today I finally got ahold of a song that I had been looking for for YEARS...literally, since freshman year in college. I couldn't remember the artist or name of the song, and only remembered a twisted, tone-deaf version of one line. I'm embarrassed to say what it is, but I guess embarrassment isn't that big of a deal...my face is red on a daily basis for one reason or another.
So...Velvet Underground...Perfect Day. Pretty appropriate that I found it on the most beautiful day of the year.
We cleaned our apartment tonight, and I once again love where I live. It's crazy how much I put off 2 hours of work...it really wasn't that big of a deal, and I'm so much more comfortable now. Stepping around dustballs and rationalizing reusing dirty dishes is just disgusting.
At dinner, we ran into the new principal oboe player of the Cleveland Orchestra, which is only funny or notable because we were joking about it the other night. I went to Interlochen with him in '96 (HUGE crush...), and then CIM for my first couple of years (huge crush on his best friend). It was good to see him and realize (once again!) that people who win big jobs are not necessarily super heros... rock stars for sure, but they don't all posess super powers...
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Jojo's Bday pics
Here are the promised pictures. Fun time had by all...(or certain unmentionable people are left out, quite purposefully)
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
trust your dog.
I just wrote that title and accidentally typed 'god' instead of 'dog'.
Subconscious coming out, or just a dyslexic typo? hmmm
Anyway, to the story at hand--
Baruch stayed with Ta on Monday night since both Phil and I were away. In the middle on the night, she flipped out barking, etc. Ta calmed her down and put her back to bed. In the morning, she woke up to find her purse and car missing. Yes, someone broke into her house while she was sleeping and took her purse and then stole the car. And we live in a good neighborhood...what's going on? It make my little bike incident seem totally innocent. At least no one came into my house.
In any case, Ta thinks Baruch saved her computer since it looked as though it was in the process of being stolen. And, I guess it's good Ta didn't realize something serious was going on and just pacified Baruch instead...it would have been a lot more traumatizing to actually confront someone while they are in your house, I would guess.
Good news this morning though--the police found her car. She doesn't know what condition it's in, but they caught the guy in it, so hopefully this will put an end to the Cleveland Heights crime spree (this was the NINTH incident of this kind around our area recently).
Other bad news is that Liz got in a car accident and probably totaled her car. She's kind of scraped up, but is okay otherwise, I believe. I don't want to steal her thunder, so if you want to read about her fiasco, you should go to her blog (link on the sidebar). The important thing is that she's okay, obviously, but it still stinks to have such experiences...
So, in the midst of all this drama was Jojo's birthday. We went to the Lizard late last night. It was fun to have a big group going out. Pictures to be posted soon. Jojo looked absolutely gorgeous. I love her glasses, but her eyes are her best feature. Get some contacts, chick-y! (As nice as a blurry world is, it's probably not the best idea on a regular basis...)
I had my Louisville audition. Didn't get it, needless to say. I have to figure out how to 'turn it on' in auditions. I sounded totally great right beforehand and there is absolutely no reason why I shouldn't have been able to at least advance. My fingers just spazzed out on stupid Stravinsky...and I love that excerpt because all you have to do is play fast notes...that's my thing. So what happened? I wasn't even that nervous. I don't get it. Any advice out there?
I need a job. I need to play the flute. in an orchestra. soon. or I will flip out.
Subconscious coming out, or just a dyslexic typo? hmmm
Anyway, to the story at hand--
Baruch stayed with Ta on Monday night since both Phil and I were away. In the middle on the night, she flipped out barking, etc. Ta calmed her down and put her back to bed. In the morning, she woke up to find her purse and car missing. Yes, someone broke into her house while she was sleeping and took her purse and then stole the car. And we live in a good neighborhood...what's going on? It make my little bike incident seem totally innocent. At least no one came into my house.
In any case, Ta thinks Baruch saved her computer since it looked as though it was in the process of being stolen. And, I guess it's good Ta didn't realize something serious was going on and just pacified Baruch instead...it would have been a lot more traumatizing to actually confront someone while they are in your house, I would guess.
Good news this morning though--the police found her car. She doesn't know what condition it's in, but they caught the guy in it, so hopefully this will put an end to the Cleveland Heights crime spree (this was the NINTH incident of this kind around our area recently).
Other bad news is that Liz got in a car accident and probably totaled her car. She's kind of scraped up, but is okay otherwise, I believe. I don't want to steal her thunder, so if you want to read about her fiasco, you should go to her blog (link on the sidebar). The important thing is that she's okay, obviously, but it still stinks to have such experiences...
So, in the midst of all this drama was Jojo's birthday. We went to the Lizard late last night. It was fun to have a big group going out. Pictures to be posted soon. Jojo looked absolutely gorgeous. I love her glasses, but her eyes are her best feature. Get some contacts, chick-y! (As nice as a blurry world is, it's probably not the best idea on a regular basis...)
I had my Louisville audition. Didn't get it, needless to say. I have to figure out how to 'turn it on' in auditions. I sounded totally great right beforehand and there is absolutely no reason why I shouldn't have been able to at least advance. My fingers just spazzed out on stupid Stravinsky...and I love that excerpt because all you have to do is play fast notes...that's my thing. So what happened? I wasn't even that nervous. I don't get it. Any advice out there?
I need a job. I need to play the flute. in an orchestra. soon. or I will flip out.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Something to live up to
Just one other thing I wanted to mention--
Everyone has been SO awesome about the whole bike fiasco...not blaming me, offering to help out, etc...thank all of you so much.
A neighbor (Guinness's mom, actually) today spent her morning fixing up her extra bike so that I can have it for the fall. I can only hope I'll be so generous one day...
It's not a permenant solution, obviously, but it'll help until I can figure out how to afford a new one...and I suppose that just has to happen by the spring so I can still do Wildflower...
Everyone has been SO awesome about the whole bike fiasco...not blaming me, offering to help out, etc...thank all of you so much.
A neighbor (Guinness's mom, actually) today spent her morning fixing up her extra bike so that I can have it for the fall. I can only hope I'll be so generous one day...
It's not a permenant solution, obviously, but it'll help until I can figure out how to afford a new one...and I suppose that just has to happen by the spring so I can still do Wildflower...
Kurt's Labor Day party
Last night Kurt had his annual party. I had to get there a bit late because of a wedding reception gig, but it was still a lot of fun. I got there STARVING though (18m of running burns a lot of calories, apparantly) and proceeded to stuff my face (started off with a huge brownie) and then of course got a horrible stomachache from eating too fast and had to spend the rest of the night either bent over or curled up in a ball. When will I learn my lesson about this?!!! It's happened countless times and still...no control...
Friday, September 02, 2005
FROM ULTRAWALKER
thanks to ultrawalker for taking the time to write down what so many people are holding in. i just wanted to share such a well-written post...
Friday, September 02, 2005
Appalling·
I am so appalled by the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina that I can hardly think of anything else. There is so much blame to go around that I don't know where to start, but I truly feel this shows a colossal failure of American government, both parties, many administrations, federal, state and local. Because we elected these idiots and scoundrels and failed to properly guide their governance, this is ultimately our failure as a society. American social indicators have been sliding for a long time and this is the fruit of our inattention to our environment, our cities, our poor, our vulnerable.This is a national tragedy and a national scandal. We've been fiddling while Rome burns and now we are paying the price.
If a hurricane hit on New Orleans was one of the top three potential threats to "homeland" security, why was our preparation and funding almost non-existent and why has our response been so incredibly inadequate and, to be frank, also non-existent. How many times can Bush say, "Help is on the way"? That's what you say in the hours after a catastrophe, but here it is days 4 and 5 and his response is to repeat the mantra, "Help is on the way," and ask his dad and Pres. Clinton to pass around a cup begging for handouts??!! What is wrong with this country? Michael Chertoff should lose his job before the Labor Day holiday! Why do we even have a Homeland Security agency?
Why does the PTA have to buy a CD player for the music teacher at my daughter's school because the school can't afford it? Why do poorly paid elementary school teachers have to spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars on school supplies for their classes? Why did we cut taxes for the rich and corporations if we had identified potential catastrophic threats to American cities but didn't have the funding to prepare for them? Why did lawmakers authorize over $200 million to build a bridge to an uninhabited Alaskan island but cut the Army Corps of Engineers' funding for New Orleans levee improvements from the requested $100+ million to $42 million? When you consider the size of the US budget, $100 million is less than nothing--it is the blink of an eye, it is a mustard seed. There are individuals in this country who have 10 or 20 times that amount for themselves, but we can't spare that much money to save a city and protect the lives of millions of people?????
Throw the bums out. Throw the bums out. Throw the bums out. Throw the bums out.
Let's rebuild this country. Let's help all citizens. Let's show kindness to the poor and the sick. Let's show our children we care. Let's show the world we are truly compassionate, that we truly love other people, that we really care, that the sufferings of my neighbor are my sufferings, that a starving, suffering person thousands of miles away is MY brother, sister, mother, father, child, friend.
One of my favorite quotes is from an interview with Iris Chang, the author of "The Rape of Nanking" about a horrible war crime from World War II:
"Civilization is tissue thin."
We have to hold our civilization together, and we have to remember that our government is us; we set the agenda, we elect the leaders, we hold them accountable. This is our failure, and it is up to us to fix it. Throw the bums out. No more politics as usual.
NOTE: To make it clear, I think Bush has failed miserably. But this problem spans administrations and parties. Our congress is not working. Our government is not working. I'm in favor of bipartisan housecleaning. We have mismanaged our country, and we need to fix it.
And my response:
You said it all perfectly. I'm from Louisiana, and feel totally awful being up in the north in Cleveland where no one is paying any attention, doing ANYTHING. I almost feel like I should just start driving down there, but what could I do? Pick up 4 people from the side of the road and bring them to another disgusting, falling apart sports stadium? I don't know what the solution is, I don't know how to help, but it's beyond depressing what this country has come to. At this point, I can't even recognize it as my own.
My parents are down there in that muck (safe, thank G-d), but depressed as all hell about everything (or NOTHING) that is going on there. I just don't even know how to express my disappointment, my frustration, my absolute horror about how we've handled this. Other countries don't understand; we're sitting around while people die. It's not, by any means, acceptable. It makes me want to vomit. We're making a mockery of our country...we say we're the biggest superpower in the world, and we can't even help our own?
And the worst part is that even I, who actually have some connection to that area of the country, can manage to forget about it and go on about my day in a normal fashion. How are we going to change the actions of the entire nation if we're so disconnected, so totally unwilling to relate to each other? Can white people not see the humanity in black people's eyes? I just don't comprehend what is going on. If I were a conspiracy theorist, I would have a ball with this one...
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